reflections??

Have you ever felt like somebody else has everything you want, like you would do anything to be them, only to realise that they don't see themselves the way you see them? Like they always think that they are not good enough? It's really weird in a sense, since you sorta "worship" them as yr role model or some sorts, but they think that they're not good enough. Hmmm... Just something to ponder about.

I got my Chinese Mock paper 1 back today... My god... my essays are still in good condition, i should say, but my paper 2... aarrggghhh... okay, I might have gotten 2nd in class, but I still felt like I could have done better. My parents think that i'm putting in too much pressure on myself to excel. Maybe I am... I don't know...

Today Mdm Sue gave us sort of a lecture, but not really the scolding type. Made me wonder, is it really possible for me to get 6 A1s? Well, that was the minimum she was expecting from everybody in our class. Sometimes the lectures she gives, like the way she makes us seem like we're sorta "not good enough" it gives me that little spark to work a little harder. Wonder if it's just me, or do others get this feeling too? I think it's just me... hahax. I miss Miss Sahai from Pri 6... I know it's like really long ago, but she was the teacher that kept on motivating us to strive and work harder for better results. She told us motivational stories and such almost everyday, to keep that determination in us strong. I wish there were more teachers like her.

I got a bit stressed just now, so I picked up my seventeen magazine to read. I went to the horoscope section for fun, and well, the stuff written didn't really help brighten my mood. Here's what it wrote for my horoscope sign: Be careful who you confide in this month! A jealous girl at school has just been waiting for you to drop your guard. On June 15, she'll scroll your facebook page to find something she can use against you - think twice before you post anything!
Ooookay. That's for the month of June. Who the hell is jealous of ME?

Now, I'm thinking of ways of how to reward myself after O levels, so at least I have some "bait" there, to motivate me to work even harder than I am now. I really can't think of anything. Maybe I should ask my parents for a vacation to Paris, or USA. Ahh... maybe USA! We could go to Idaho and visit Mark... hahax. Going back to Canada would be fun too, then I can get to see Celina, Andrew, Aunty Michelle and Uncle Greg again. If we really went back to Canada, I hope to go to Lake Cowichan once more. That place was like super nice. I would also like to go to Paris... how I wish I could become a perfumer... Like they only work 2 hours a day, but they earn at least 7, 000 plus Euros a month (around 21, 000 S'pore dollars) ($_$)
And all you have to do is to smell some liquids and make perfumes.

Tmr is sorta a half day for us, (except for Physics) but ya, we have some sort of motivational workshop, then something about Lord of the Flies or something like that for assembly. I absolutely HATE Lord of the Flies. Yeah... The story line is errr... unique, but the book is soo boring. Like B O R I N G. I wouldn't even get the book, even if you gave it to me for free.

Okay. Time for homework. Must Jiayou!!

C