Motivation... where's the drive?

I love the cover of the new Jonas Brother's album: Lines, Vines, and trying times. Its the coolest cover yet! Out in June 16th. Get the original. ;)

I'm starting to feel really driven to study... especially after I see many people around me starting to pick up their speed in this race. Don't know how I'm gonna do this, but yeah, I'm gonna work really really really hard from now on. First target? An A1 for my upcoming chinese O levels. I will not allow myself to accept anything lower than that grade. Ever.

One week plus left for the month of May... Lots to look forward to in June, although it spells a month closer to the big O. Let's see, there's Transformers sequel, which I have to watch, there's Jonas Brothers' new album (Lines, Vines and Trying Times, although frankly I think the album name sounds a lil tacky) on June 16th, there's my scholar's cup competition on June 13th, I can't wait to meet more new ppl from other countries, and there's of course the June holiday break, where I really can sit down the whole day in my study, er... studying... Somehow I find school to not be a condusive place for studying. I love my messy desk more =)

Before I embark on the 2 Chinese Mock papers and E. maths exercises I've planned to do for today, Just one issue...

Someone is jealous.... of ME? Okay, maybe that's true, but I seriously don't see how that's possible... Yeah, my languages and humanities may be above average, but my Sciences suck... seriously, esp Physics and Chem. My E.Maths paper is crippled with careless mistakes, and other than Bionomial theorem, Coordinate Geometry, all the Differentiation and Integration, I'm a complete failure at all the other A.Maths topics. I lost track of how many A maths tests I've failed already.

I may be blessed with the most amazing parents in the world, but my family life ain't that good either. I find it really hard to trust people, because of what happened in the year of 2007. And however much I eat, I still am underweight, as I have been for my whole life, which can be really fustrating, coz you can buy certain clothes, get stereotyped for suffering from an eating disorder, which I so am not. I have a bad hair day (literarily) every morning (they just curl in all wrong directions!!), and its such a fuss to get it into a decent hairstyle for school. I failed my piano exam by 9 marks (I got 91 out of 150), because my nervousness attacks are that bad. I can never play the piano in front of anyone. You should've seen the way my hands trembled soo violently. er... Maybe you shouldn't.

So, WHY would anyone be jealous of me...? That, I really don't understand. Please enlighten me.

Mari told me not to update my Facebook page till after June 15... lols. Like I haven't went to facebook for like really long. The last thing I did was just a note with a list of songs on my music player. I'm getting bored of Facebook anyways... I still prefer Myspace, which apparently most Singaporeans don't use...

xoxo,

~C

currently listening to: Back Around, Demi Lovato.