nuts.

Today really turned for the worse when I saw the mock papers timetable. I seriously can go crazy with that. I got really really really angry and full of abhorrence once I flipped through the paper. Never knew that a few sheets of white could invoke so much emotion. Basically I was going like WTF. What is the school thinking? Hell, I don't even get to come home for lunch for one single weekday for an entire MONTH. and there are so many papers in one day, with a few subjects. This mock thing is basically going to exhaust me, and seriously I'd bet I would be too damn tired to even reach my highest potential for my O levels. My mom totally agrees with me. How I wish this were America. I could gather a huge group and protest, without punishment. But this is Singapore. Argh... it so ruined my day.

I wanted to study geog today actually, but i ended up watching Michael Jackson's concert on TV instead. I did manage to cover like 1/3 of the Forest chapter during the commercial breaks. It still doesn't feel like Michael Jackson has died. Rather, its the opposite. His sudden departure seemed to have brought his music and his legend back to life again. I suppose this is how you live forever... ... in the hearts of people.

We had Physics remedial today. I only paid attention while Mr Lee was going through the 1st question. I feel a little bit bad for doing that, as Mr Lee is one of the most dedicated teachers that we have. But I just couldn't bring myself to pay attention. Anyway my Physics has let me down once again. B4. and teacher said that we should be getting As. I am already feeling exhausted. With mocks, I'll feel worse.
I know myself well enough that I cannot take too much of a certain kind of pressure. I'll fall sick again and again, and i'll get all emotional. It's no surprise that i'm already ill now, with an infection of my throat, sinus and ear. I can't hear properly or breathe on my right side. Trying my very best to keep opstimistic for now. It helped to know that I did well for certain subjects, so, hopefully let's keep it that way.

Siento que no puedo estar con ustedes, a tu lado, en este momento cuando me necesites más. Me duele verte tan perdido, tan cansado. Pero quiero que sepas que siempre estamos allí para usted. No importa lo que pase. Incluso si eso significa que usted tiene que tomar ciertas decisiones que no van con la mayoría, haga lo que usted cree que es correcto para usted. Recuerde que su destino está en tus manos. Y si usted se cae, voy a tratar de encontrarme con usted, incluso si estoy a mitad de camino en todo el mundo. Se va a mejorar, después de esto. No te rindas, no en sí mismo.

I received this note from someone. Again, I required my dictionary a lot (and I mean like almost every other word... Oh man my Spanish!!!). Callebero, la próxima vez que escriba en Inglés!!! But, muchas gracias de todos modos =)

Marisol and Nick called today. Thanks for the encouragement and prep talk. Initiation is almost over, it's been almost a week or more since school started in New York. I can't wait to meet the freshmen... haha.

I know I said that i'd work hard, and I will, but there's a limit to somethings. We'll just have to take it a step at a time. I hope that everyone around me is taking the pressure and handling it better than i am. CMH.