UNSTOPPABLE.

Yeah... Unstoppable. That's the name of the new album by the Rascal Flatts. Ok, ya, call me an American Country Music Freak or whatever you want. Their music rocks. The news just takes soo long to reach Asia. Like I can ask anyone in school... Do you know who the Rascal Flatts are? And they will go like 'Huh? Is that a new type of shoe?'... The kinda answer that makes me wanna slap my forehead in fustration.

Okays, there were some problems with the link of the Cyclops picture, so I kinda saved it to my computer, and the only problem now is that it appears smaller. At least you can see it now.

I'm now listening to the Rascal Flatts new album, on youtube of course. I'm intending to buy their album... Although my budget is almost broke from spending so much on Music CDs. So here's the new music video from the Rascal Flatts. The name of the song is Here Comes Goodbye. It's about a woman, who goes to visit her dad's grave, and her dad's spirit is watching, together with the spirit of the woman's son. It took me awhile to understand the video, so ya, save you the trouble.

***
I'm officially down with throat infection. Had a slight fever, that subsided already. I hope I'll recover by tomorrow. I hope. There are tonnes of tasks waiting for me to complete. But I felt so horrible inside the LT during Chem Lecture today, like my head was burning and my hands were icy cold and starting to shiver. Reminds me of Katy Perry's song Hot n Cold. It took everything I had to pay attention, though I gave up and just dazed in the last 15-20 mins. My throat is killing me. I've never had a bad sore throat like this for eons. It feels like there are lacerations on the inside of your throat, and each time you breathe, its like rubbing salt on the wound. Arrgh.

I walked home with Suxue again today, partly because I didn't want to be exposed to the aircon or the crowd in the bus. The main reason was that she's such a good friend to talk to. I mean like, when you're with her, you feel like you can just be yourself and pour out all your secrets and your troubles and everything. I love you for always being such a loving and supportive friend. =) [Cal and Chenghui, & my cheerleaders I love y'all too!!]

Today a weird man tried to follow me while I was walking home. Pretending to walk straight ahead, I made a sudden sharp turn and dashed all the way to the lift lobby and into the lift. Thankfully the door closed in time. The man was really freaky. I pressed the lift buttons to floors 7,8,9,10 in case he decided to continue stalking me. I wish those unscruptulous people didn't exist.

***
Tired. I'm really tired of this stupid dream. Without doubt, it's unreachable. I shouldn't be holding on to it. But I still am. It's wrong but it somehow seems so right. Sometimes I hate myself for it. Does it even matter anymore? Things that matter, things that don't. Bittersweet.

Bless the Broken Road.

Today is so COOL.

Here's the really really really cool picture of Cyclops I promised Cal that i'll put up. He looks really damn super cool in this picture. I still don't understand why they made Cyclops die at the very beginning of X3. Seriously, bad move. Very bad move. I mean like the Cyclops/ James Marsden fans would be so disappoint. I could think of a million ways the story line could improve, if only they wouldn't make Cyclops die at the beginning. >.<

this morning was a little better than yesterday, but we were all still sticky with perspiriation.

Thank goodness, before recess, it RAINED. yay! The cool packs that Su Xue bought wasn't used at all by the end of the day, and there was wind =) Although I would still prefer ice or snow, this is good enough... (and though we didn't need the cool packs, I didn't say I don't need Ice anymore. )

I never realised that mistaken identities could be so fun. It's hilarious from the sidelines. Trust me. And well, about that guy... yeah.. hahas. He'll be a turning point in my life. As was many other things. This is hopefully going to be the last post that i'll ever talk in detail about him. I shouldn't think that direction too much. It's unhealthy for the both of us. I shouldn't deny the fact that he's a good person, and I really should not try to think him as a bad person in my mind, just for the sake of forgetting. I know some of my friends and aquaintances are trying to forget ppl as well, so ya, we'll just move along as time washes stuff away. Oblivious still is oblivious. But I hope that he believes that he meant everything to someone before.

Today CLVES lesson was used to make us do the National Education Quiz... err okays, if we failed that we would not be allowed to graduate. Anyways, its damn difficult to fail, so I don't think that anybody did. But the quiz was designed in this stupid game like thing, that had so many distractions that I'd rather they gave us an MCQ plus OTAS sheet instead. Things could get along much faster that way.

I took the Facebook "which Singaporean elite school are you from" quiz today, and I got like Raffles Girls school on my first try. I was kinda going like "What!! are you kidding me?" so I retried the test, and got Singapore Chinese Girls School. Yeah... That's more like it. Cheng Hui got like Raffles Institution... She's more like a Raffles Girl to me though.

Blehs, got that stupid health check-up tmr... I hope I've grown taller. And I seriously hope that the nurses would stop saying the same thing each year... "Girl ah, you must eat more you know..." I can eat like a serving size for 3, every meal, for an entire year, just to gain a pathetic kilogram. Some think I'm lucky. But while other girls are desperately trying to lose weight, I'm trying to gain just a little more weight for the past few years. I've finally decided to settle for my natural weight just recently, so stop complaining.

and su xue is normal today... hahax.

okays, guess that's all for today. Feeling really great and contented. Good mood to start clearing homework...

reminds me of a quote "you must decide what to do, with the time that is given to you" Gandalf, in the Lord of the Rings.

xoxo

c

ICE. I need ICE. (snow would do just fine...)

GOD! the weather is soo damn hot, I can't even concentrate on anything I do... Miraculously (sp??) I managed to get through the school day. I can't wait till labour day.

Today was filled with discussions about Xmen. Looks like I'm turning back into the comic book freak I was in the past =) But I really like Xmen, since I was like in kindergarten I was a Xmen and Justice League fan. Guess that never really did change. Wolverine, Storm, Rogue and Cyclops are so cool. But Iceman is cooler. I guess the weather in Singapore has something to do with that. Its regrettable that they changed the actor for Cyclops in the upcoming Xmen origins. James Marsden is so much cuter and better looking than this newbie.

Well, this post is pretty mundane, like, yeah... either than the stupid heat, there isn't really anything unusual about today... except that Su Xue was acting a bit unlike herself. A little over exaggerating her actions. For some strange reason, I felt really emo after school today, and decided to walk home alone, despite the heat. It was nice though, walking as compared to taking the bus (soo noisy...), had some time to think through quite a couple of stuff, where my life was heading, what I needed to focus on right now, and the usual self assuring crap. Some of them probably lies, but it did make me feel better. When I was crossing the cross junction near my home, there was this Proton car which was driving with its car alarm on... Lolx, like the driver in the car looked pissed.

Okays... I pretty much summarised everything that happened to me today. The heat is preventing me from doing anymore work. Going to check out calista's blog now... I wish it would snow. snow. snow. snow.

I'm right here hoping, that you'll come in with the rain...

~Taylor Swift

lovelovelove
~Carmen~

come in with the rain

I'm officially stuck on David Archuleta's songs. He's got that baby face that makes him look so young! I still can't tell that he's 18 years old already. But I still am not buying his album... Not ALL the songs are good. Only some. I prefer those he sung on Idol.

I went to the Esplanade Library today full of high hopes, just to come home in disappointment. I wanted to borrow the Taylor Swift songbook, and I found it! Book in hand, I went to return it, just to find that normal members can't borrow music scores, and you have to pay $21 to become a premium member. Dang. Might as well I just buy the music score on Amazon.com, which is exactly what I decide to do.

Quite a productive day, I must say, did quite some homework, and I should be able to finish all by tmr afternoon... =) My daddy's finally getting a break off his work, and we're going for a family dinner tmr night. SEAFOOD... yays!

I just found this self-written, but unpublished song from Taylor Swift sometime ago, but finally found a high resolution version. No grainy tunes that strain your ears. Thought I'd share it. It's called Come In With the Rain.

It's 12 30 am, but I'm not tired... yet. Guess I'd better turn in, so I can wake early tmr.

I wish ICEMAN was here... its sooo hot. I guess the best substitution is the air-con. Man I miss the snow.

please no more mistaken identities...

Really long post... have a lot of topics to cover... thanks to my long absence off blogging, in exchange for more time in slogging for studies. and BIO SPA Skill 3.

I finally told chenghui about that guy's identity. I can't remember what exactly she said, but i remember she said "eeewww". Funny thing was, she didn't even like say like I was wasting my time or gave me any lecture. In fact she wasn't even curious about who it was. Boy has Cheng Hui matured so much since the first time I met her. =) I love you mate!

Talked about marriage for CLVES this week.. Was pretty dumb. Had to imagine some situation when I got married. I couldn't really get the scenario right. All I could imagine was my dress, and how I would design it, as a fashion designer. Didn't catch a glimpse of the groom at all. Cheng Hui was supposed to role play a married couple with HeiKern, but in the end, because she had some girl emergency... I had to jump out, rescue and replace her. It went ok, I've been in ELDDS drama course ok!! hahax, lols. I was too hungry then to think about anything but food. I was actually like dreaming of Mcdonalds when I read the script. LOLs. Next week, during Mdm Sue's Eng lesson, we even have to present to the tiny class about our views and sentiments of marriage.
I have no idea what to say at all. To me, its a committment, a proof of love, that really can't be described in words. And who says all married couples quarrel? I've never seen my parents quarrelling in my entire lifetime. I've only seen them sharing and giving in to each other. I hope my marriage will be like that.

And some people who have offered to guess who that guy is, have given mistaken identities. Ok, i'm just going to keep my lips zipped for the moment, or rather forever.

Recap of what happened past few days:
1. Sec 4 Prefects stepped down... They did great, and will continue to do better. =)
2. Mrs Choo taught us her first Chem Lecture to all sec 4 express. Her chem lecture was actually clearer than her bio lessons. Surprise surprise. But some students were really mean to make bad comments about her. Nobody deserves that.
3. For Suxue and Cal: Some people will never find out who Wolverine is. ;)
4. Taylor Swift replied my email!!!!!! OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. I LOVE HER!
5. I passed my 2.4 km run... time was ~16mins. quite happy with myself coz I've not been running for more than 8 months (except for NAPTA practices).
6. I'm finally starting to get momentum on my studies. Hopefully I will gradully gain enough to reach my peak performance in O Levels.
7. Mr Cosgrove (the new Irish teacher in my sch) Finally came into our class. He talked to me, Cal and Su Xue a bit, says he sympathises us for our enormous stressload. He says that people would be out in the streets protesting against the education system, if this were Ireland. I agree totally. Thank god for at least ONE teacher that understands our pain and stress.
8. I've not gotten over that guy yet. Guess I'll never will in such a short period of time. And no, I'm not giving any more clues. and please stop guessing. =)
9. Nick. Wow. like wow. you've made us all proud with your achievements. Head Boy ehh? =)

OK... blahs, Heikern requested for me to post one of my songs up, so here it is. Actually, its a new one that I just wrote over yesterday and today. It's for my friend Kristen. He'll come back to you. He promised. We all believe he will. You're worth that. Title? Back From Tennessee.

Once upon a time
In a small town
There was a boy and girl
So deeply in love, nothing could break them

They'd walk home from school
hand in hand
On Friday Night's they'd
watch the stars in her parent's front yard.

Then One day, the boy had to leave
Cause' his daddy found work in Tennessee
When he broke her the news,
they both cried, and the girl said...

(chorus)
Don't leave me alone,
Don't let me go
You might be miles away but my heart's with you, always
Don't forget the times
Nor the kisses or the stars
Promise me you'll come back to my heart'
Promise me you'll be Back from Tennessee

On their last night together
He held her close
Her head on his chest
They watch the stars until the sun rose

In the beautiful sunlight
All was bittersweet
she cried her last tears
tried to remember his heartbeat, then he had to go

He recalled the words she said before...

(chorus)

(bridge)
After she saw his car disappear from the road
She drove home crying, lost, alone and cold
Rushed into her room, wanted to play their song
But beside her guitar was a letter that he wrote, and he said

I won't leave you alone
Never will let you go
You might be miles away but my heart's with you, always
Won't forget the times
Nor the kisses or your eyes
Promise I'll be the one to put that ring on your finger, and I
Promise I'll be back from Tennessee.

This song is in the key of E major, and erm I really really don't have the habit of writing music scores. The tune is like country music. Think Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood. Something along the lines of those styles. I'd rather do 3 Socials SEQ than write music notes one by one. and basically, the chords of the song are like er in my head... Usually I'll get a friend to translate onto the score for me =) Anyways, to make up for the lack of info for the song, here's a dummy guide to how to start writing songs.

My Method: Think of a situation that you would like to write a song about. Start thinking of what sentences or phrases you would fit in your lyrics. Then quickly grab a pen and an old napkin =) and write down YOUR song. If you've thought of a tune to that song while writing the lyrics, take your handphone's voice recorder function and either sing it or hum the tune. Complete the lyrics of the song, sing through it to make sure it sounds okay, that the pitches of the Chorus and the rest of the song clicks. notice i've not used any musical instrument until now. Now, with that tune in your head ( and in your phone, in case you forgot), go to your piano or guitar or violin and try to figure out the chords to accompany your tune. If you have difficulty in this, work out your tune in musical notes (A,B,C, etc) before trying to figure out the chords. After that, write each respective chord on the top of its respective word in the lyrics. and Waa laa... your song.

Demi Lovato's method: Think of a scenario which your song revolves around. Sit at your piano or play your guitar, experiment with a couple of chords and notes here and there, and if you do it long enough, you can actually form a melody that you like. Try to think of lyrics og your scenario that fit into the melody you've just created. plug everything in, write the chords, the song down, record it in your handphone recorder in case you forget, and waa laa, your song.

Jonas Brother's Method: Brainstorm with a couple of buddies or brothers or sisters about what song you would like to write. Everyone trys out new tunes/ lyrics with the above two methods. In the end, a combination of ideas would give you your new song lyrics and melody. Needs ALOT of teamwork, and TIME.

Sorry... I really have no idea how Taylor Swift writes her songs. Maybe I should ask her...

okok... there you go, run along and write your own song. For those who don't have any music background, no worries. Just draft out the tune and lyrics in your head, and remember them, so you can sing it or hum it for someone else with a music background, so that person can draft out the notes for you. =)

XOXO
carmen

mistakes. over and over again.

haix. xian... emotional rollercoaster ride.

I was like listening to Marisol of how great her boyfriend (or rather EX boyfriend is) the other day. She still describes him as a greek goddess even though he triple timed her. Sick ass. I've never seen her cry that much. She must really love him.

Anyways, Kristen called me the other day, made me realise something that might be true (and a million thanks to samuel poon, suxue for your advice too). Ok, maybe because of what happened to Mari, I ended up getting an upheaval of feminist notions, and that all guys are bad and yah, the last post... Ok, basically I got really angry with guys (hehs, sorry...) Yes, and I do admit, I get pretty emo when these sorta things arise. But I still am angry with that jerk for 3timing. He should thank god that he doesn't live in this country.

and I admit, I translated that anger to my own personal emotional attachments, and blahs (i won't elaborate. read the last post) looking back, those were all lies that I came up with, to try and decieve myself that I was ready to let go. The point is... I'm not. After listening and talking to a couple of people, i'll let go when I'm ready to. No rush, no pressure, it will go away when the time is right. I don't think i'll ever know when that time is, but its okay.

Thanks to HeiKern, who requested on my facebook, y'all might be able to read one of my songs. Lyrics only, coz the chords to the song are like in my head... and I'm far too lazy and busy to write them down on paper and scan. The song will be posted by the end of this week... promise.

gotta go chiong URA and ISA projects that Ms Kaur had to suddenly remember... why couldn't she suddenly remember on friday? at least we would have the weekend to sort things out.

i hate hate hate homework.
carmen.

shut up. just shut the hell up. it works!

Marisol is going through Another breakup. this is the... er 3rd or 4th time alr. I wish she wouldn't go believing every guy that comes around. She's too good for those asses.

don't know why, in terribly good spirits today. Like super high. Hmmm... and ok, maybe my "descriptions" have been abit too... er detailed? according to Samuel Poon. I decided to edit(Tks). =) Under parental guidiance... yes, my mom reads my blog, I want her to. She's like my BFF. That's what parents should be like. I have the best parents i could ever ask for.

Went to the National Library today, saw an interesting book. It's title wrote: Why Homework is Bad. I flipped it, and it had like all the information and scientific research that shows the detriments of homework towards teens & children's development... its overwhelming. Too bad when I was about to walk back to that shelf to borrow the book, someone else took it and walked away. Damn, should have taken it earlier. Then maybe we can show that to our teachers and well, hopefully there'd be less homework... hopefully. Anyways, I'm going to borrow it the next time.

Oh, before I end off, I almost forgot to mention, if Xing Lai knows, ok then fine. Maybe i shld ask him if he knows on Mon... hahax. Like really ask him...( it'll be fun) But let's just keep it this way, hope things don't get worse. I won't want a reality show going about me when I'm trying to multi task a truckload of stuff. (That's what poor Mari is going thru. Trash that jerk, jackass) What's done is done, relationship stuffies aside, and move on. I say "shut up" everytime I think of the crush, and yeah...the no. of "shut up"s have decreased. Means i think of it less =) [shut up method courtesy of Kristen. its stupid, but cute] My self set 19 year old rule still stands. No dating guys till 19! And I still have my purity ring on. (JONAS influence!!!) Reminds me... Nick Jonas doesn't look like Glenn. Su Xue please please please see the difference. Stop insisting on that.

Ok. Summary of important points in this post? I'm setting the record straight. Wow, that happened. Ok, I went sorta nuts. Fine, I went totally nuts. And well, some people know about it. So, I should forget about it. Rounding off, I should move on. The end.

I know what some ppl are thinking... that i'm just denying, so attention can be diverted. After I got a vicious wake-up call from a kindhearted someone, I've realised I delayed too long. Its not that I want this, but priorities should come straight. Its bigger than "want".

ONE week. That's all i need. I'm going all out american style (ok, only some ppl will understand this slang). Things will be back to the way it should be in one week. No more distraction, no more craziness, no more slack. One week. I'll still like Physics though, can't afford to lose that change. I can do this in one week. I did it 2 days for a record, hell.

Things that came out of this? Er, increased viewership rates for my usually-visited-by-same-few-people blog, two really nice songs and Physics is not that bad. But humanities still rules over sciences.

Reminders, Chiness express O level in around a months time. Time to try score my first A1.

Finally I'm thinking rationally. =)

Cheers... Taylor Swift Rocks Sox! and Obama's dog is cute =X
~C~

That's the end of the love story. this ain't a fairytale. i'm not the princess all the time, and i'm ok without a happy ending. there's more to life than that.

Tribute to Rocky the cat who finally rested in peace. At least it doesn't have to suffer from diabetes anymore. Now buried under a cross in the Fletcher's garden. My condolences to Celina and Andrew. But I think they're getting a new cat.

freaky friday =)

Finally the dreaded week of tests have ENDED!! Playing Jonas Brother's "Live to Party" at almost full blast for celebration... to loosen up.

Phew... so glad to be in the coolness and comfort of home. It was sweltering at school today. My face blushes when the weather is hot (something that I hate) and yah when I run, or get over-excited it becomes worse. Today the UNAS vice president was due to come to our school for like a talk and I was on the phone with him -- he got lost while driving to our school. Just nice, our class boys returned from their lunch escapade and I quickly motioned Chenghui to ask them if any of them knew how to give better directions...
She asked "Does anyone here have driving parents?" and I was like what??? driving parents? so i was pretty fustrated trying to tell chenghui nonono that's the wrong question to ask, while trying to handle the phonecall, so my already pink face from all the running about just became redder. Instead of answering the question, Duncan was like commenting on me, asking why my face was so red. I couldn't answer (I was on the phone!!) and well, he just said... "oh, must be weather too hot...hahax..."
today XingLai asked Suxue the weirdiest question of all. "Su Xue, do you know who Jiawen likes (as in boys, obviously)?" Well I wasn't there to witness that scene, but of course, trust your best friend to let you in on such "breaking news". When I first heard that, first reaction -- stunned. HUH? I was soo scared that he actually knew who I likes. After school today, SuXue asked XingLai to ask me that question personally. and well, he did. I found that a little too direct. Seriously, who would answer that question? unless you are having an open romantic relationship, nobody in the right mind would. He sort of nagged me to give him just one name, so I did. I told him "I like Ichijou." Xing Lai, of course, had no idea who that was. Samuel Poon sort of hinted that he knew the identity of 'ichijou' which i believe he does, but i trust his character that he won't spill the beans. And Ichijou remains ever so oblivious. [i'm getting over you soon...gimme a week max]

XOXO
carmen

live'in music.

got some free time coz Physics supplementary was cancelled today. Dug up all the pieces of papers in my diary and collated all the songs i've wrote over these few months. Suprisingly I came to a grand total about 19 songs... mostly half-written or scrapped. but here's a list of my self-written songs that are complete and that I'm proud of:

1.Shadow
2.Fairy without wings
3.What is love
4.Don't dare to say
5. All it takes
6. Addictive
7. Kissing you goodbye
8.Let me love you

some background information:
1. about being a victim of bullying. I don't even want to elaborate.(my nightmares of sec 2F.)

2. a teenager trying to find her place in this world, trying to achieve her dreams that seem all to far away, feeling she's being tied down by everything

3. Am I ready for love yet? Sorry I'd have to reject you, turn you down, but I'm just not ready to take that step. Friends is the furthest we can go.

4. About that boy that i LIKED.

5. Something I wrote after feeling so sucky when a judge deliberately marked us down in a debate because our team, or rather me, won best speaker instead of her team. She hates me, she made my teammate cry. Never gonna forgive her for that. Anyways, this song is about not letting the words and actions of others bring you down.

6. A song that I hope i'll get to duet with the Jonas Brothers... hahax. impossible? not quite. It's quite a cool and unique song, with a trademard Jonas beat to it. And you need a girl and a boy to sing it. It's about a girl liking a boy, and the same boy liking the same girl, but they both don't know, and don't dare to admit to each other.

7. Ah hah... finally a breakup song. I never got into a relationship, so this is a song for kristen, and is not a story of my life. Well, its about a girl, singing about her ex boyfriend who dumped her for another girl, and the jerk ex goes around telling everyone that she is the reason for the failure of their relationship. So she sings in revenge. Listen to Taylor Swift's "Picture to Burn", and you'll get it.

8. Ok, its about the same guy... the one that I'm OVER... Like ya. I wrote this recently only. I still hope that he'll hear this song one day. Its about a girl (me) liking a boy, no matter what happens, even if he'll never know or get to see this girl loving him the way he does. hahax. yes, i wrote it during one of the 'emo' times.

I'm so afraid that some outsider would just copy and lift my songs if I put them up here. My songs are like my blood. They tell you about me, just short stories of sections of my life (except for some). Maybe if I find some more secure way of showing them to you, I will. =)

hmm... maybe my next song would be a tribute to my dears and darlings :X my friends of course =)

okay, free time over. its study study time now...
cArMeN.

comparisons.

Today was relatively calm and pleasant... nth much to worry about.

Physics test was a breezer. I studied like mad for it yesterday, and yays... I could say I mastered all the waves chapters (except for light...). Finally on the right track to a Physics 'A'. Thanks to a particular someone, and to Mr Lee's skeptism of my abilities, that kept me working hard.

Still a 'sotong' in chemistry though... don't get the electrolysis chpt. Its driving me nuts. When Mdm Yeo teaches, everything seems fine, but when it comes to the questions, I can't do without the notes...

Its gonna be a horrid week, with Socials SEQ test tmr, Emaths Vectors test on Wed, NAPTA test on thurs and that dreadful nightmarish Chemistry test on Friday... You can expect the lights in my study room to remain on, way past midnight.

and SuXue told me today that Nick Jonas looks like Glenn... Firm objection from me and Calista...
like NICK JONAS the teenage heartrob and GLENN??? errr.... I don't see any similarity... at all. I betcha alot of ppl would agree with me. Not that Glenn is like damn bad or something, just that there is NO similarity. Even Glenn said so himself. They are total worlds apart. Galaxies, even.

I'm still addicted to Taylor Swift, and the Jonas Brothers. Keep listening to their songs, even now, and during Physics test, my mind was playing the song "Tonight" by Jonas Bros, then "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift. If anyone noticed me tapping my feet, and looking elated during the test (I doubt anyone noticed)... no, i've not contracted any mental retardation (i'm not at all affected to my close SMS proximity with someone), I'm just playing songs in my head.

I soo wanted to go see David Archuleta last tues, but I doubted I'd get the chance to meet him, so i skipped. His songs are great too =) And the way that he answer that last question on that interview for the IN newspaper, maybe I should be rational enough to feel that way.

xianns... gtg study for Socials SEQ, and do my Chinese h/w.
carmen

today he looked past me yet again. Always looks through me or past me but rarely AT me. Walked past him, SuXue's face went red from trying to tease me. I pass him so many times, that i've learnt to keep my feeling inwards. It was funny because it should be my face going red rather than hers. Anyways, I've decided to put him aside for a moment in time. But that doesn't mean he isn't important... that doesn't mean I've given up.

after ladder 49

yay... finally got my braces removed today. It feels so great =) I'm getting my invisilign retainers on tues, and have to wear it for 3 months, just in case the teeth shift. whatever the case, no more metal in my mouth =)

regarding that relationship problem in my last post, well, i'm feeling wee bit better today, thanks to all my friends and their love guru advice =) and after a whole marathon of Taylor Swift, Jonas Brothers, and Miley Cyrus songs. esp that Jonas Bro song "Love is on its way"... bottom line? believe in love, coz it'll reach you, bless you wherever, whenever you need it. And that guy that got me all tangled up...? well of course he still doesn't know yet (he's totally oblivious btw), but i'll just take it by day and see how it goes. oh, and maybe i shan't tell cheng hui afterall... if not she'll be nagging at me like the big sister "da jie" figure that she is =)

oh and the complications i mentioned it my tagboard? what the heck. I'll just deal with it, however dreadful it might seem, but i think i can handle it... i think... i don't want to hurt anybody here. that's why i'm keeping silent about the complications. Maybe I observe or read people too much. maybe i've found out more than i am supposed to know. maybe what i made a wrong deduction about somebody. but i have a choice not to voice it out, in order to prevent more hurt from becoming of others. even if its uncomfortable for me, yeah, it's worth it.

my homework pile is taller than Mt Everest. I know I keep on complaining about h/w in my blog, but I can't help it. Its killing me. I don't see the point of so much homework when the teachers can't even finish marking it and giving it back to us. and I can't help comparing with my american/canadian counterparts, who either don't have homework at all, or have a homework pile so minute that they can finish it less than an hour. life is unfair.

watched the movie Ladder 49 on tv today... it was great, almost made me cry... i could even feel the tears forming. when the lead firefighter (played by joaquin phoenix) died at the end of the show, in an ablaze building after rescuing someone, it made me think so much about losing the people you love around you at anytime. i don't want that, but its gotta happen sometime, doesn't it? it also made me think of all the men and women who risk their lives everyday in order to protect the lives of others. something no ordinary person could do. and to the family of these brave men and women, who worry endlessly about their loved ones, fearing the day that they'll see their loved ones exchange their lives for another, to give their life on the job, to save another soul. god bless these people. I salute you for all the bravery and selflessness that you possess. i don't think i'll ever want to watch that show again though. i hate to see great, courageous people just pass on like that... they deserve better. again why life is unfair.

listen to your heart,

fly with the wind,

unfortunate souls,

taste the freedom in the clouds,

for there i hope you'll find your peace

LOVE three times over,

carmen

today's really a hell of a good friday... feeling rather messed up in here and I'm feeling the necessity to rant some things out. so here I am, blogging, when I'm supposed to be preparing my presentation on the G20 summit, for current affairs on monday.

I'm feeling foolish, blind, stupid, emotional, whatever you call ok. I've just changed alot recently because of this one person that... I don't know, felt special to me, i guess. At first I just shrugged it off as teenage infactuation, but it had never been this crazy, felt this nice, nor changed me so much.

This thing started like 2 months ago, I guess. I've told my best friends Su Xue, Kharmei and Calista about it, but I haven't really told Cheng Hui yet, but this thing's getting too outtahand, that I guess I'll need her help too. mental note: tell chenghui on Monday. Since what happened in the year of 2007, I stopped trusting alot of people, I've learnt to distance myself from everyone, just hide in a shell, behind a mask and I've learnt to detatch emotional feelings from people, which has become really useful in terms of boys.

But this new guy, what do I have to say? The more I try not to think of him, the more I end up thinking about him, about what he does, what he's gonna do, what he did.

Su Xue describes me as falling into a pool of quicksand and unable to get out. I doubted that at first, and for a moment I even thought that I was forgetting him. But I wasn't.

Unfortunately, he's in fact the one getting me all hyped about studying hard and I can't even pull myself out anymore. its addictive. hell I even wrote two songs about him. and knowing that other girls are liking him too is not helping at all. I'm almost absolutely positive that he's not going to get himself into a relationship right now. ha... my hobby on reading those psychology books and my daily observations of him came out to that result. we're not that close, but I've got him memorized even better than most other people that I know (excluding family and BFFs). I really hope he doesn't think anything of all the times when he catches me looking his way, and how I hurriedly look somewhere else. To make things more complicated, I think that someone else likes him, and someone else likes me. Dang.

well, just check out part of the lyrics of my new song i wrote last night for further confirmation:
it's okay even if you'll never find out
just let me love you.

I hate this quicksand. But something's stopping me from getting out.

foolish girl.
carmen.

JONAS bros 3D

LOVE IT.

The Jonas Brothers 3D show was soo great!! I loved it... though the 3D effects were pretty limited. My fav was the performance where they sang Taylor Swift's Should've Said No, with Taylor herself. That was soo cool...! Jonas Brother's new song Love is on its way is damn nice... lolx. I'd like to thank Su Xue for making this trip with me to The Cathay especially to accompany me... I mean like she isn't really into the Jonas Brothers, but once she watched the 3D concert, she liked the drummer from the Jonas Brother's band! hahax. His name is John or James Lawless, if I'm not wrong... =)

I expect every Jonas Bros fan in Singapore to go watch it... I mean like, this IS the closest we can get to the Jonas Brothers, isn't it? I still comment on the JB's myspace page every week, like trying to persuade them to come to Singapore... but its kinda useless, coz they receive so many comments on their page, that mine gets drowned out within minutes.

Above is the video of the Jonas Bros new song, love is on its way... someone recorded it directly from the cinema, then kinda subbed the clear soundtrack into the video... it was the best that I could find on You tube... Don't mind the blurriness... If you do, click the HD button on the video... it helps a little.

I'm just inspired to write another song... So that's what I'm gonna do right now...

Love is on its way...

xoxo,

C~~

forget today, relive tmr, and thanks for making me smile.

just got home not long ago...

Today was as boring as other days (but yesterday was the best day EVER)... well, there was really nothing much to do. Hung out with my friends as usual, and entertained people by reading a string of 13 smses that a particular special person in class sent to me. I never replied back. Thank god.

Tomorrow's gonna be sports day, and I'm packing a hell lot of goodies to bring tmr... I'm still pondering whether to bring a can of tuna to nibble or not. I guess not, coz i have like 7 to 8 muffins with me. Bringing chips though... I hope I have enough voice to cheer on my classmates tomorrow at the stadium... =) bringing my camera, hoping to snap a few happy shots =)

Excited about tmr's outing with Su Xue... We're like going to watch the Jonas Brothers 3D concert!! and we can't forget shopping, can we? =))

You know, sometimes when you think that life ain't worth living if it was about school all day, there are always these little little tiny things that happen, that make you smile. I like that, and that's why i'm gonna keep living my life as it is now, and try to stop resenting, because of these litte rewards you recieve along the way...

and I'd like to says thanks to the people who made me smile, today and yesterday, and also to a few very very rare people who never let me stop smiling.

Stay beautiful =)

DoubleXOs.
~~C.

ESTATIC Day...

i love taylor swift to bits and pieces.

Today was great, filled with laughter, esp during the CLVES period where we were talking about sexuality education. Our classmates did something like a mini renactment, of the "good" and "bad" ways of saying no to sex... it had everyone cringing with laughter.

Tmr, unfortunately, is not going to be that good, with a Bio and Chinese test back-to-back. Crap... I can't even get the bio stuff into my head. I just end up staring at the notes and falling asleep. Dang... I'm totally flunking that test.

I need sleep to score for chinese though... see how it goes.

I just borrowed a copy of Rolling Stones mag from the library yesterday. Its the one with taylor swift on the cover. I got home just to find that the section on taylor swift was torn out. =(

Dang... I borrowed the Jonas Brothers one too. Luckily that one was still in tact.

Today was SuXue's birthday... Gave her a birthday present. A pair of earrings, a lollipop and a bdae card. I hope she likes it... I feel quite guilty of not having given her something better. I promised I'd make it up to her soon... :X

lovelovelove

c.

Taylor's hidden messages.

BREAKING NEWS!

Taylor Swift actually has hidden messages encoded into her song lyrics!! OMG OMG... that is soo cool. In her lyrics there are some letters that are capitalised right, ya, join all those together and you will find a hidden message for the particular song! For the benefit for those who don't have the CD, here are the hidden messages.

"Fearless" - I Loved You Before I Met You
"Fifteen" - I Cried While Recording This
"Love Story" - Someday I'll Find This
"Hey Stephen" - Love and Theft
"White Horse" - All I Ever Wanted Was The Truth
"You Belong With Me" - Love Is Blind So You Couldn't See Me
"Breathe" - I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry
"Tell Me Why" - Guess I Was Fooled By Your Smile
"You're Not Sorry" - She Can Have You
"The Way I Loved You" - We Can't Go Back
"Forever & Always" - If You Play These Games We're Both Going To Lose
"The Best Day" - God Bless Andrea Swift
"Change" - You Made Things Change For Me

"Tim McGraw" - Can't Tell Me Nothing (Credit: ForeverTaylorSwift)
"Picture To Burn" - Date Nice Boys
"Teardrops On My Guitar" - He Will Never Know
"A Place In This World" - I Found It
"Cold As You" - Time To Let Go
"The Outside" - You Are Not Alone
"Tied Together With A Smile" - You Are Loved
"Stay Beautiful" - Shaken Bake
"Should've Said No" - Sam Sam Sam Sam (Clearly This Was About A Guy Named Sam. Lol.)"
Mary's Song (Oh My My My) - Sometimes Love Is Forever
"Our Song" - Live In Love

double XO.
carmen

why do they have to make things so COMPLICATED?

Takuma Ichijou of Vampire knight. Too bad humans don't look like this in real life... oh wait... he's a vampire... lols xD

ahh great.

Just got a pile up of homework that never seems to get finished no matter how much i mugg. Decided to take a break and blog instead.

Just ran into a new relationship problem and I'm kinda pretending not to know anything, or care but seriously its driving me nuts. (and that's what led to this post's title.) oh mann. Why did everything decide to happen at the same damn time? As if I don't have enough things to deal with. Crap. So I'm pumping every inch of my attention into my studies, so as to avoid such distractions. Headache.

Today CAL and SuXue both absent from school AGain. Pang sei me... soo sadd and lonely... *sobs*... lols. Lucky there's still Lihao, Kharmei and Cheng Hui to talk n play with. If not i'll be bored to death in school. I came to school espcially lookin forward to pay attention to physics today, but Mr Lee only ended up talking about resistance. Didn't learn much new stuff today.

Bio did that crazy Skill 3 worksht that left me panicked and stumped for the first 10 mins, before I smacked myself in the head (literally) and starting thinking, and I saw the light.

Bought a birthday present for Su Xue... ok, at least part of it. I hope she'll like it....

ICHIJOU is soo cute =) *Vampire knight* Su Xue and Cal, can you see the hidden meaning? hahax.

with lotsoflove.

carmen =)