it's hard to lose.

WE LOST. we didn't get into the quarter finals of the debate nationals, aka JGs.

I know the whole team, especially Emily and Gerald, they put in their very best. Like everything we had. But I guess everything wasn't enough. I know we are supposed to be good sportsmen and all. I get it. BUT after everything you've put in, your heart, your sweat, your effort, your soul, your blood, everything... to lose... its almost unacceptable.

Maybe it was partly due to that "Mrs Grudge-judge"... holding on to grudges from last year. I rarely say this to people but she really is a "b***ch". I won't ever forget what she said to me last year. and for her to judge us twice, during Prelim round 1 and 3, I can't help thinking its more than just a coincidence. in a nutshell i hate her. she's just become my public enemy no. 1.

Cheng Hui: I'm so so so so sorry for letting you down. I know we were supposed to win, I know I was supposed to lead to to win, I thought I would be welcoming you at the airport with a smile. But now all I can give you is disappointment. I'm so sorry. Sam and Sanjeeb keeps telling us that as long as we had fun and learned something, that was all that mattered. But I still feel that it's my fault somehow. Don't blame the team. They really did well.

Mrs Priya: Thank you... so much. Thanks for the mcdonalds treat, thanks for accompanying us until late at night, thank you for rolling your eyes when "Mrs GRUDGE JUDGE" 'debriefed'us. thank you for comforting Em when she broke down. I know that you really support us alot, and I know that many a times we have caused you much trouble. Despite all that, you still stuck to us, through it all, sacrificing your time. I'm so sorry too, that we weren't able to produce results, to gain more recognition from the Principal especially. But just know that we are really grateful to you, for everything that you have done. We really are.

Emily and Gerald: Thanks y'all for putting in so much effort for this, especially Emily, juggling camp, rebuttals, case and reply all at the same time, and Gerald, who practiced reading incessantly after receiving the script. You guys have the potential to excel, and I believe that you will.

And to all our coaches. we will improve. we will become better. we have learned certain things the hard way, and I hope we'll make you proud the next time.

Oh, and to my friends and family, thank you for supporting me, and my passion.

I still feel sore about losing. I still feel that it might be somehow my fault. I still feel that I disappointed and let down a lot of people, whose hopes had be pinned on me, on the team more importantly. It's hard to lose, but it's the climb, the experience that counts in the end. right?

carr.