Today is really shit.
Started the day with Oprah (with tom cruise as her guest) and then the Rachael Ray show.
And not forgetting Roti Prata for breakfast...
went ahead to do the 综合填空 practices. I got 8 for the first one, then I got 2 for the second one, and 5 for the third one, which was like enough to demoralise me, coz i tried alot harder for the latter two, and I even thought they were easier. I felt like crap during lunch, and my parents gave me a long long talk on why A1s are unimportant, and the only important thing is to not give up. They told me that there's nothing to study for languages, and I should just chill. I finished lunch and started studying again.
I couldn't concentrate, ended up with a splitting headache... and now i'm here blogging and listening to some music. Maybe i do need to chill. I've been fighting countless battles within myself lately. Over various things... stress, pirorities, relationships, grades, attitudes... argh. And tomorrow will be the first of a series of battles called the O level Examinations.
I need time to recharge, but there doesn't seem to be any. Later i'm just gonna finish 2 more 综合填空 practices, a few more mcq comprehension passages, read some chinese articles, watch camp rock, and go to bed. I'll leave the rest of tomorrow in the hands of fate.
But good luck to all my friends taking the exams tomorrow. I'm going in tmr, with nothing but my dictionary, pencil case, my brain and faith. I hope all of you enter the exam hall filled with faith as well. Nothing's more important than that right now. Hope y'all will get the grades that you aimed for...
Best of luck everyone...
C
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
sorry for not posting for so long...
I'm so tired after so many hours of Chinese today... just blogging to rest awhile, then going off somewhere soon.
I'm half freaking out for Chinese O levels this mon. I mean like, I'm not scared of paper 1, its paper 2 that's the problem... Anyway, will try to do some mocks later to practise my speed, then memorise some chinese phrases or something. Argh...Why can't everyone just sit for the easier November Paper??
Nothing much interesting happened recently, and it's pretty much been a stress rollercoaster ride.
Oh, yesterday I went to the MRT station with Cheng Hui... we were talking halfway, then suddenly "hey you.... blah blah".... They were actually playing a rap song through the speakers, about mannerisms when taking and waiting for the train. The song was littered with Singlish, and sent Cheng Hui and I into hysterical laughter. It was so damn silly!! Trust the authorities to come up with such ideas that end up becoming a joke, rather than a measure that really works.
The new jonas brothers album is soo soo much better than their previous ones. Nick's voice finally settled. Wow... he sounds really good! Get their album=) meanwhile go to you tube to preview their songs...
Okay, i'm giving in, my eyes are closing on me...
I'm so tired after so many hours of Chinese today... just blogging to rest awhile, then going off somewhere soon.
I'm half freaking out for Chinese O levels this mon. I mean like, I'm not scared of paper 1, its paper 2 that's the problem... Anyway, will try to do some mocks later to practise my speed, then memorise some chinese phrases or something. Argh...Why can't everyone just sit for the easier November Paper??
Nothing much interesting happened recently, and it's pretty much been a stress rollercoaster ride.
Oh, yesterday I went to the MRT station with Cheng Hui... we were talking halfway, then suddenly "hey you.... blah blah".... They were actually playing a rap song through the speakers, about mannerisms when taking and waiting for the train. The song was littered with Singlish, and sent Cheng Hui and I into hysterical laughter. It was so damn silly!! Trust the authorities to come up with such ideas that end up becoming a joke, rather than a measure that really works.
The new jonas brothers album is soo soo much better than their previous ones. Nick's voice finally settled. Wow... he sounds really good! Get their album=) meanwhile go to you tube to preview their songs...
Okay, i'm giving in, my eyes are closing on me...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
untitled.
yay... i'm finally finally finally starting to forget. it's slow, but it's happening. there's still a part of me that doesn't want to let go, but we'll just take every day as it goes. i'm even wondering now, whether forgetting is a good thing, or a bad thing... I mean it lessens some burdens, yes, but some part of you that seeks happiness out of it, will go away as well. I don't know... i really don't. but sometimes it isn't about whether these feelings are right or wrong, because they happen to be somewhere in the middle of the two, no matter which way you look at it. it's just another complicated thing in the world, which we will eventually understand, someday...
today's chinese mock paper 2 was a killer. I'm not even confident of getting an A2 this time. Just praying that O levels wouldn't be like that... if not i'll confirm be retaking in Nov. Paper 1 was easy though... I wrote the essay question on whether we should ban exams or not. I stood for banning of exams =)
soo stressed nowadays. like we have our Chinese O lvls to take care of, and yet, we have all these Bio, and Chem homework that the teachers are chasing us for. "when are you going to study your bio? June already still dunno anything, how to get distinction?" and "chem mcq, will only take one hour of your time." to quote my teachers. I know i know it's june alr, i know your homework is very very important, but seriously, can I concentrate on my Chinese PLEASE!!! After june 1st i promise i'll study like mad for my sciences... so please stop stressing me out. Still have to deal with the CCA record thing somemore. I can't believe that not a single one of my debate stuff was entered into the system at all! Now bugging the teachers to quickly enter my stuff, so I can see my points, whether its enough to deduct 2 or 1 points from my L1R5.
okay, and its confirmed that we'll be having Chinese study group on Saturday, after Mr Yip's class. All who are keen are welcome. Most probably would be held at Northpoint somewhere. See how first. will only be an hour, to go through essay writing structures, and some tips here and there.
Not enough sleep, but still mugging. Haix. There goes my teenage life.
today's chinese mock paper 2 was a killer. I'm not even confident of getting an A2 this time. Just praying that O levels wouldn't be like that... if not i'll confirm be retaking in Nov. Paper 1 was easy though... I wrote the essay question on whether we should ban exams or not. I stood for banning of exams =)
soo stressed nowadays. like we have our Chinese O lvls to take care of, and yet, we have all these Bio, and Chem homework that the teachers are chasing us for. "when are you going to study your bio? June already still dunno anything, how to get distinction?" and "chem mcq, will only take one hour of your time." to quote my teachers. I know i know it's june alr, i know your homework is very very important, but seriously, can I concentrate on my Chinese PLEASE!!! After june 1st i promise i'll study like mad for my sciences... so please stop stressing me out. Still have to deal with the CCA record thing somemore. I can't believe that not a single one of my debate stuff was entered into the system at all! Now bugging the teachers to quickly enter my stuff, so I can see my points, whether its enough to deduct 2 or 1 points from my L1R5.
okay, and its confirmed that we'll be having Chinese study group on Saturday, after Mr Yip's class. All who are keen are welcome. Most probably would be held at Northpoint somewhere. See how first. will only be an hour, to go through essay writing structures, and some tips here and there.
Not enough sleep, but still mugging. Haix. There goes my teenage life.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Gonna be Peter Parker, Spidey no more.
Regarding Sam.P's curious comments on the tagboard (man, I sound like Mrs Choo... lols) err... It's not really convenient to say the name, so infer from all the info that i've given you previously.
I took a break from doing my Physics worksheet just now, and it just happened that living room tv was on, showing Spiderman 2. I've watched that show like a gazillion times, but for the sake of taking a break, I watched 15 mins of it. The part I watched was the portion when Peter Parker was like wondering whether being Spiderman was taking away too much of his life, and he decided to dump his Spidey costume and become Peter Parker again. Great power comes great responsibility, and so goes that famous quote. It made me wonder, have I been too much of a "spiderman"?
I'm starting to regret alot alot of stuff that i've done, or committed to for the whole of this year, and last. Like I always thought I could take on that extra responsibility, just because I longed to experience different things along my sec school life. But come to think of it now, I might have been too much of a "spiderman" taking in responsibilities, burdens that have weighed down significantly on my schoolwork. Just like how Peter Parker took on the role of being Spiderman, and how his results and job performance dropped, because of that. Peter Parker chose to abandon his superhero persona, to prevent it from further eating into his own life. Of course, since Spiderman is the superhero who fights the baddies, Peter returned to his Spiderman life again.
But it's different, for me. My extra responsibilities don't include saving the world. In fact, Peter chose to be Spiderman in the end, because the importance of making society a safer place came above the importance of him being Peter. He was being selfless. For me, though, my schoolwork, my results, my personal life, should take top priority, instead of all this extra stuff. Volunteer this, volunteer that, UNSA, Scholar's cup in June, all the other blahs.... Seriously, to quote Britney Spears, "What Was I Thinking?"
I still have Scholar's cup on June the 13th, and although I am looking forward to it, the fact that I'm spending more time on studying for that ( partly because it's more interesting and also because I want to perform well for my team) than focusing on my Chinese O Levels, okay... this is worrying. So, I'm only only going to limit my time for studying for scholar's cup to all the recesses in sch. No other time, can't afford to care too much about that. We registered on a mentality that we won't win anyway.
I'm choosing Peter Parker over Spiderman. I just want a nice O level cert.
Change.
I took a break from doing my Physics worksheet just now, and it just happened that living room tv was on, showing Spiderman 2. I've watched that show like a gazillion times, but for the sake of taking a break, I watched 15 mins of it. The part I watched was the portion when Peter Parker was like wondering whether being Spiderman was taking away too much of his life, and he decided to dump his Spidey costume and become Peter Parker again. Great power comes great responsibility, and so goes that famous quote. It made me wonder, have I been too much of a "spiderman"?
I'm starting to regret alot alot of stuff that i've done, or committed to for the whole of this year, and last. Like I always thought I could take on that extra responsibility, just because I longed to experience different things along my sec school life. But come to think of it now, I might have been too much of a "spiderman" taking in responsibilities, burdens that have weighed down significantly on my schoolwork. Just like how Peter Parker took on the role of being Spiderman, and how his results and job performance dropped, because of that. Peter Parker chose to abandon his superhero persona, to prevent it from further eating into his own life. Of course, since Spiderman is the superhero who fights the baddies, Peter returned to his Spiderman life again.
But it's different, for me. My extra responsibilities don't include saving the world. In fact, Peter chose to be Spiderman in the end, because the importance of making society a safer place came above the importance of him being Peter. He was being selfless. For me, though, my schoolwork, my results, my personal life, should take top priority, instead of all this extra stuff. Volunteer this, volunteer that, UNSA, Scholar's cup in June, all the other blahs.... Seriously, to quote Britney Spears, "What Was I Thinking?"
I still have Scholar's cup on June the 13th, and although I am looking forward to it, the fact that I'm spending more time on studying for that ( partly because it's more interesting and also because I want to perform well for my team) than focusing on my Chinese O Levels, okay... this is worrying. So, I'm only only going to limit my time for studying for scholar's cup to all the recesses in sch. No other time, can't afford to care too much about that. We registered on a mentality that we won't win anyway.
I'm choosing Peter Parker over Spiderman. I just want a nice O level cert.
Change.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
paranoid...
well... i didn't have the best morning, trying to delete some unwanted content, and the internet, for some unknown reason, was so damn slow, it took me almost 45 mins to work everything out.
Regarding what WAS on the tagboard (and never will be, coz i banned the person)... there were some crap about the school again, almost copies and pastes from the culprit's personal website, and some racist remarks, and some bad stuff about one of my friends, who visits this blog oftenly. That was why I deleted all of the crap.
Thankfully, to cheer me up, the Jonas Brother's new music video is out. The song is called Paranoid, and in case you haven't heard of it, here's the music video. But warning, the ending is a lil lame. But at least it was alot better than the "Burnin Up" video. That one was really... fake.
Can't wait for the album on June 16th!
Anyway, today went out for lunch with family at Traders Hotel, near Tanglin Mall. Man the pork ribs were good. So was the Beef, and the Lamb. But their beverage prices were mad. Like a coke would cost $8.50, and an Orange Juice $9. That is ridiculous. Went for coffee and smoothies after lunch, and the smoothie at the food court in Tanglin Mall was delieesh! While the orange mango juice at the restaurant was just slighty above average.
Aww man... Mock papers again tmr. So fustrating. I know Chinese O lvls are like a week away, but don't we need a break? I mean, the mock papers would just deplete our energy for the actual thing... =( Oh, and for those interested (express chinese), we're having chinese study group sometime this week, will see how it goes, as everyone might not be able to make it on the timing that i prefer... we'll see. Inform y'all at school.
But for chinese, there's really no "studying" involved. Like you just have to go out there and do your best. Except for the Paper 1. There are certain things that the markers are looking out for, and the certain things are always the same, no matter what qn they may pose you, so ya... its mainly the structure bit. It's hard to say it in English... but Cheng Hui and Sam C alr know, since i've passed on what my tuition teacher taught me.
I'm so stuck on the song Lo Que Soy, the Spanish version of Demi Lovato's Camp rock song "this is me". The song made me realise that I almost threw away all of my Spanish, ever since I became too busy to continue learning in Sec 3. Mann... I really must buck up on my Spanish after O levels. Can't let my hard work before go to waste...
Debo trabajar duro! Consigue que lindo acento español volver... Pero ahora, permítanme centrarse en chino... Hasta luego mis amigos!
adiós
carmen
Regarding what WAS on the tagboard (and never will be, coz i banned the person)... there were some crap about the school again, almost copies and pastes from the culprit's personal website, and some racist remarks, and some bad stuff about one of my friends, who visits this blog oftenly. That was why I deleted all of the crap.
Thankfully, to cheer me up, the Jonas Brother's new music video is out. The song is called Paranoid, and in case you haven't heard of it, here's the music video. But warning, the ending is a lil lame. But at least it was alot better than the "Burnin Up" video. That one was really... fake.
Can't wait for the album on June 16th!
Anyway, today went out for lunch with family at Traders Hotel, near Tanglin Mall. Man the pork ribs were good. So was the Beef, and the Lamb. But their beverage prices were mad. Like a coke would cost $8.50, and an Orange Juice $9. That is ridiculous. Went for coffee and smoothies after lunch, and the smoothie at the food court in Tanglin Mall was delieesh! While the orange mango juice at the restaurant was just slighty above average.
Aww man... Mock papers again tmr. So fustrating. I know Chinese O lvls are like a week away, but don't we need a break? I mean, the mock papers would just deplete our energy for the actual thing... =( Oh, and for those interested (express chinese), we're having chinese study group sometime this week, will see how it goes, as everyone might not be able to make it on the timing that i prefer... we'll see. Inform y'all at school.
But for chinese, there's really no "studying" involved. Like you just have to go out there and do your best. Except for the Paper 1. There are certain things that the markers are looking out for, and the certain things are always the same, no matter what qn they may pose you, so ya... its mainly the structure bit. It's hard to say it in English... but Cheng Hui and Sam C alr know, since i've passed on what my tuition teacher taught me.
I'm so stuck on the song Lo Que Soy, the Spanish version of Demi Lovato's Camp rock song "this is me". The song made me realise that I almost threw away all of my Spanish, ever since I became too busy to continue learning in Sec 3. Mann... I really must buck up on my Spanish after O levels. Can't let my hard work before go to waste...
Debo trabajar duro! Consigue que lindo acento español volver... Pero ahora, permítanme centrarse en chino... Hasta luego mis amigos!
adiós
carmen
Friday, May 22, 2009
4th post of the week
Kris Allen feat. Keith Urban. Kiss a girl, american idol 2009 finale.
Kris Allen. No Boundaries, american idol 2009 finale.
Ohh mann... i think i'm addicted to blogging. Like i'm been blogging for like tues, wed, thurs and today. Well, I guess I'll just blog today and maybe resist the temptation to blog again tmr... maybe.... After blogging, I always feel like I'm re-energized, so I can start studying again. I wonder.
Yesterday was actually planning to skip today's sports carnival, as I was soo soo tired. I've been like studying like mad for the past 2 weeks, and I guess the lack of sleep and fatigue has finally caught up with me. Last night, I changed my mind, told myself I would wake up for the sports carnival, to support my friends in the competition, and those who organised it. But, ironically, I forgot to tell my parents that, and I overslept this morning. Woke up around 8 plus plus, with a headache. In the end, I didn't turn up for school.
Spend the day studying... Doing all the homework, and chinese mock papers, and notes for chem. It was a productive day... made a bowl of soba noodles for lunch. I've been eating school lunches so often now, that I almost forgot how good home cooked (or rather, self-cooked) lunch tasted... Not to mention its much healthier and more filling. Our school sells food in such minute portions! I usually eat like twice or thrice the portion. However, the food itself is enough to make me lose my appetite, so I only eat one... lols.
Watched a little bit of American idol last night. Kris Allen won... yay! I mean Adam Lambert is actually a very good singer, but I hate the fact he screams so much. Lots of wasted performances because of the screaming. At the finale, he performed with the heavy metal band KISS. It was scary, disgusting and gross.
Firstly, I hate heavy heavy metal.
I mean those type like Linkin Park is fine, but bands like KISS and Metallica just disgust me. Firstly those bands are made up of a few old men who dress up like aliens with painted faces and outrageous costumes. They sing "songs" with no meaning... no... they scream songs. They love to stick their tongue out at you, and other than the fact that they need tongue cleaners, I don't have a clue of what they are trying to prove.They waste money by always smashing guitars at their shows, and the only thing you'll get out of their concerts is damaged ear drums. Sorry if anyone loves those freaks but I in my point of view, they are so damn gross. Maybe its even because of that, that people didn't vote for the talented Adam, and voted for the traditional, which is Kris. That's what I would have done too, vote for Kris. His performance with Keith Urban was fantastic. Kris and Keith!! woohoo!
But I have to give credit to Adam Lambert, coz he is a good singer.
gtg, going to watch korean drama on tv... hahax.
~C
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Motivation... where's the drive?
I love the cover of the new Jonas Brother's album: Lines, Vines, and trying times. Its the coolest cover yet! Out in June 16th. Get the original. ;)I'm starting to feel really driven to study... especially after I see many people around me starting to pick up their speed in this race. Don't know how I'm gonna do this, but yeah, I'm gonna work really really really hard from now on. First target? An A1 for my upcoming chinese O levels. I will not allow myself to accept anything lower than that grade. Ever.
One week plus left for the month of May... Lots to look forward to in June, although it spells a month closer to the big O. Let's see, there's Transformers sequel, which I have to watch, there's Jonas Brothers' new album (Lines, Vines and Trying Times, although frankly I think the album name sounds a lil tacky) on June 16th, there's my scholar's cup competition on June 13th, I can't wait to meet more new ppl from other countries, and there's of course the June holiday break, where I really can sit down the whole day in my study, er... studying... Somehow I find school to not be a condusive place for studying. I love my messy desk more =)
Before I embark on the 2 Chinese Mock papers and E. maths exercises I've planned to do for today, Just one issue...
Someone is jealous.... of ME? Okay, maybe that's true, but I seriously don't see how that's possible... Yeah, my languages and humanities may be above average, but my Sciences suck... seriously, esp Physics and Chem. My E.Maths paper is crippled with careless mistakes, and other than Bionomial theorem, Coordinate Geometry, all the Differentiation and Integration, I'm a complete failure at all the other A.Maths topics. I lost track of how many A maths tests I've failed already.
I may be blessed with the most amazing parents in the world, but my family life ain't that good either. I find it really hard to trust people, because of what happened in the year of 2007. And however much I eat, I still am underweight, as I have been for my whole life, which can be really fustrating, coz you can buy certain clothes, get stereotyped for suffering from an eating disorder, which I so am not. I have a bad hair day (literarily) every morning (they just curl in all wrong directions!!), and its such a fuss to get it into a decent hairstyle for school. I failed my piano exam by 9 marks (I got 91 out of 150), because my nervousness attacks are that bad. I can never play the piano in front of anyone. You should've seen the way my hands trembled soo violently. er... Maybe you shouldn't.
So, WHY would anyone be jealous of me...? That, I really don't understand. Please enlighten me.
Mari told me not to update my Facebook page till after June 15... lols. Like I haven't went to facebook for like really long. The last thing I did was just a note with a list of songs on my music player. I'm getting bored of Facebook anyways... I still prefer Myspace, which apparently most Singaporeans don't use...
xoxo,
~C
currently listening to: Back Around, Demi Lovato.
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