argh. I say that really often nowadays, but the fact that the blogger toolbar is missing is really irksome. I hope they fix it soon. Like, fix it NOW for goodness sake. Today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was entertaining thoughts of skipping school this morning. Lucky I didn't. Arrived at school right on the dot, as usual. As long as I don't miss the double green traffic lights right at the junction outside my home, I won't be late =)

I so feel like flying to Phoenix, Arizona right now to attend my Aunt's wedding... additional "ang moh" blood in my family. Then I could see Celina and family again, because they're driving down from Canada to attend the ceremony. There will be a second ceremony in Singapore, but that'll be after my GCSEs. Awwww man....

Today Mrs Choo gave us back our report slips... drumroll... I got 13 points for L1R5. Although Mrs Choo was lamenting that it wasn't my best, and I should be getting 8 or 9 or something like that, I was actually really happy and relieved inside. Like I thought I would totally flunk and get 17 or something. 13... with CCA and affiliation, I should be able to get into Nanyang JC. yay =) After Nanyang I would dash out of the Singaporean education system, and go for a foreign University. The thought of more gruelling result orientated environments scare me to death. Maybe that's why most Singaporeans think the grass is greener on the other side. Paranoid from the studying and stressful environment. MOE... please take note of that. You are turning the population into bookworms, and many "worms" have grown wings and are flying away.

Mdm Sue's lesson was productive today. Thanks to her, I finally understood the format for picture discussion. Usually I stumble my way through that section and depend solely on reading and conversation to buck up my marks. Now, I see the light. After seeing my results slip today, i'm really motivated to work even harder for Prelim 2, now having more faith in myself that I truly can overcome the difficulties and make it through in the end. Change, yes, we can! (boy, i haven't said that in a long while...)

For my fellow classmates and buddies out there... Don't lose hope!!! We all have the potential to succeed, but we just have to realise it and use the best of our abilities to try and unleash that potential. Here, you can apply your Physics Energy conservation law, that states that energy cannot be created or destroyed but only converted from one form to another. Okay, I am going crazy from all the mugging... but, Convert your energy to help you in your GCSEs!

xoxo.

overrated.

I thought I lost my ruler yesterday. Cheng hui borrowed it, and she passed it back to me like through a string of classmates in the classroom. I never got it. My reaction was a little bit off, like too overrated for a lost ruler... sorry cheng hui!! Thank God I found it today. The ruler is supposed to be lucky, according to the person who gave me the ruler, when I was 12. Maybe I shouldn't be too emotionally attached, to rulers, and to people. Okay, there I go again, overreacting.

Argh. Blogger still has a problem with posting, and I can post any pictures up at all! This is so fustrating. I was going to post the Racial Harmony day pics, and some random sketches that I did. I'll try logging on with my Aunt's laptop some other day, see if my computer's the problem (I doubt so, though).
Marie Digby is in Singapore, probably at Clarke Quay's The Arena by now... AAHHH. I so wanna be at her concert! But I can't, cause I've to wake up early for school tmr. =( At least there's still CSI and The Mentalist (finally they're showing it in Singapore!) to keep me company tonight.

Was studying with Khar Mei after school today. Was quite a productive session, I must say. She thought so too... Must do this more often. I get too distracted, too often.
I need more assessment books. I must be insane, spending over 200 bucks on assessments (i've never done so before), but my dad says its money well spent, an investment, sort of. More pressure to do well. Dang. And I was the one asking for the books. what irony.

Got Mdm Sue's lessons tomorrow... I wonder what's she's gonna do. I hope we don't anger her again, or else we'll be in trouble again. I hope I do get an A1 for English. Somehow my english has been getting worse. Not in speech wise, in comprehension. Need to do something!

Thanks to N for sending me tonnes of MBPs. I'll work hard. haha, i know you're really secretive about your identity, but my BFFs all know who you are. You're the only person who would do all this kinda stuff.

I just read a hilarious cute blogpost about babysitting, so i'm in quite a good mood =) thanks huang lian po for that. lols.

oh... gtg watch korean drama now. hahax. byes=)

just another day in life.

There's something wrong with Blogger... Can't attach any pictures or anything. I want to attach a sketch I did, but looks like I can't.

Yesterday:
Was at the United Nations Student Seminar. Boy, it was so much more fun than last year's. Cheng Hui and I saw a lot of lookalikes. For starters, the Hwa Chong JC guy sitting beside me for lunch looked like Qun Jie. hahax. Imagine Qun Jie like 2 years down the road and you'll get that Hwa Chong guy's face. Same hairstyle too. Maybe that's the scholar's look... lol! Then Cheng Hui pointed out another guy from er... Raffles JC, I think.. That looked like William (Wesley's brother) but whose actions were similar to that of Wesley. There was only like a slight resemblance, but anyway.

The best part? A guy from Singapore Poly went up to stage and did a presentation on Climate Change. My first reaction when I saw his face? OMG... Chong Wei!!! lols... Seriously that guy looked like a taller version of Chong Wei with slightly shorter hair, spiked. My goodness. They looked so alike they could like pass off as brothers, or even twins to an extent. haha... Had a great laugh that day... =)

At night, I was really brain dead after a whole day at the seminar, so I watched the 花样男子 on Channel U, for the first time. The show was cute, but the story line seriously lacked linkage. And it was a little too dramatic, with like exaggerated situations. Nah... not worth watching again.

Today:
I can't do the Chemistry Organic Chem worksheet. It's like half blank. Mmmm... I smell Tom Yam soup. That's for lunch, probably.

Introduction to my new favourite on my music playlist: Marie Digby. She's half Japanese and half Irish. She released a Japanese album called Second Home, which is really sweet. Otherwise, you could listen to her English songs, which are equally fantastic. I'm feeling continued waves of lethargy sweeping over me right now, so I'd probably do less studying.

I don't know what's happening, but I keep feeling so tired lately, I haven't been studying like I should be. I wish there was no school, and I could just self-study the whole day. I hate waking up early. Sometimes you inevitably feel like you're born in the wrong place, living the wrong life. You'd rather be somewhere else living your dream. It's like you are just walking blindly on the route that everybody is taking. You want to create your own path, but you get can't get out of the crowd... Just being pushed along by time. The only thing left to do is to walk this path chosen for you, and do you best to reach the ending point, where you finally can make your own choice. But whether this is what you want, is another question altogether. Only you have the answer to that question.

is there a beauty, in walking away?

today. (and a little bit of yesterday)

Hi y'all,
I hope everyone is doing fine and not sniffling like me. I have a bad sinus infection and this runny nose is driving me nuts. Yesterday was GCSE O levels Chinese listening comprehension, and I had really bad gastric pains in the morning (the type when you can't walk without bending over ninety degrees) so I stayed home in the morning, only popping back in school for my GCSEs.

Yesterday, Chenghui and I were walking along the school's linkway and we were making a certain conversation, before we both stopped, looked at each other and said "what?!" at the same time. Haha... the funny part was that not only was this not pre-planned, we said it in British accent, as inspired by Hermione Granger. Hahaha... we did it a couple more times today... (this time pre-planned reanactments for the fun of it =X)

i've just become a total Emma Watson fan. I mean, she studies all the subjects like I adore completely (like Geography, History and Art) and scored really well for them all. She loves the colour Pink, like me, and loves toast and hot chocolate as comfort food (I eat alot of those during exam periods) and likes to mix Orange and Lemonade, like I do. (You should try it, like its soo good). And she draws really well, better than me and most other people that I know. When I read about Emma Watson, I see the exact person I want to be, and it provides me with a lot of inspiration to work harder.

Before I go out of point, today is racial harmony day...! My entire class wore ethnic costumes at school, and we won the Best Dressed Class Award (yippee!) There was real joy in snapping those pictures with my classmates, and I know those shots will serve as great souvenir of the life and times of 4H... it's great to indulge in tiny zests from the past sometimes =)

I'm charging my phone now, so i'll post those photos tomorrow... i swear and promise that I will.

Oh goodness, time passes so quickly when I'm relaxing. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. It passes too slowly during school. argh.

xoxo
carmen.

oh i forgot to mention that it's Daniel Radcliffe's Birthday today... Happy birthday =)

sore

yes, i'm having an oncoming sore throat, and I can tell from the signs that a really bad one is coming along. hopefully a fever doesn't follow (it usually does). okay, maybe its good to have a few days of MC, but i hope its not H1N1... lols. Mr Victor Tan has been on MC for 6 days already... wonder if he's okay...

arrived at school on the dot again today. It seems like I can't hear my alarm anymore, once i wake, i realise that i've unconsciously turned it off. I don't have a clue how or when i did that, but it happens every morning.

Today, one miracle happened... I didn't get a C for Amaths!!! I was like so happy when I saw that... I got like 61%, which is around B4. the most miraculous part was that my Paper 2 was the one which saved me. And I thought I screwed that one up. Managed to clinch an A1 for Emaths too... =) Maybe things aren't that bad.

I got myself all mentally and emotionally prepared to receive that hell of a Physics paper... but Mr Lee didn't give it out. haix. Mr Lee gave us a "speech" about how the stress has affected his health... and how he still hopes to work with us to continue the "war". Somehow his story seems parallel to mine. Always wanting to pump in effort, but no, my brain can't take it, my blood can't take it. Mental determination can only do so much. At least I manage to pull through classes.

I'm officially a Potter fan now... haha. Back to Primary school days when I would mug over Potter books. Then along came Order of the Phoenix, which was so boring, it put me off Potter completely. Daniel Radcliffe was featured in Time magazine. He said that Harry Potter, to him, is a flawed character, not all sweet and light. Harry can be quite manipulative and somewhat "uses" his friends sometimes, without fully being appreciative of what his friends do for him. I think that's true, to some extent. Daniel Radcliffe is staring in a new movie "The Journey is the Destination" a biographic film about British photographer Dan Eldon. Radcliffe is cast as Eldon. I don't know how the film's gonna be like, but I think that Eldon's lifestory is a touching one. He and a few other jounalists got stoned to death by an angry mob who accused UN peacekeeping forces of killing civilians. Eldon and his pals were like in the wrong place, the wrong time. The movie would be out sometime late this year, so those who are interested, heads up =)

my eyelids feel as heavy as dumbells. i need a nap.

Thank you so much for all that you've done for me. You never fail to be there, whenever i need you, wherever you may be. I just can find enough words to thank you for everything that you've done for me, how you stood by me in my weakest times, and how you made me feel stronger, feel beautiful, when all the odds were in a direction opposite of mine. I'm so sorry for neglecting how you feel sometimes, but you never did mind. Wouldn't be standing here, without you, without your love. I know that I may not have given up as much for you, as you have for me... With you, it all seems better.

to everyone who love me and have stood by me. family, friends, BFFs, acquaintances, strangers... you gave me hope, made me believe in me. In every little action, you've brought light to my life. I can never thank you enough.

And special thanks to the person who promised to catch me, whenever I fall. =)

Can't get enough of Harry Potter. Emma Watson looks stunning, as usual... Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe looks weird without a shave. (scroll down for more Harry Potter pictures.)

I've gotten my morale back. Yes, I can't give up... its too early...

I was planning to go down to Orchard Central yesterday... but I was so tired I crashed and took like a 2-3 hour nap. By the time I woke up and finished lunch, it was already quite late... So my dad took the family out to Causeway Point instead. Ate MOS burger for dinner. It's been ages since I ate MOS burger. It was nice=) and less oily than Mcdonalds.

I bought a pair of Hush Puppies short pants. They were absolutely cute and would pair perfectly with my grandmom's vintage Oxford flats. I was suprised I could fit into the "large" size. Usually it would be extra small for me. Turned out that only that short pants had a tiny "large" size. As usual, the other large sizes would fit one and a quarter of me. hahax. Bought a white camisole too.

I still can't find a pair of jeans skinny enough to fit me. Argh. The only one I saw was a Levi's, but that cost like over 400 bucks. NO way. I could buy tonnes of stuff with that money. Ohoh... and they were selling this brand in Metro, called T-box, which is totally sweet. They scrunge and vacuum pack their t-shirts, singlets, and even dresses, into these tiny palm-sized miniature "boxes". SO cute. But I didn't buy them... maybe I should sometime...

I feel all re-charged and ready to run again. Don't stop. haha. yup, i'll work harder this time... I seriously hope that my work will pay off, not like Prelim one. And when it comes to JC, i'll never touch Science again. I would take like History/China studies in eng, Geography, and ECONOMICS! yeah =) and contrasting subject would be Maths. NO SCIENCE. yuck. economics is damn fun.

Daniel Radcliffe got straight As for his A levels. and Emma Watson... omg. She's my new idol. She took 10 subjects for her GCSE O levels, and got 8 A1s and 2 A2s. She straight A'ed her A levels too. But she took all the Humanities subjects. Art person, like me=) that kind of motivated me a lot, coz people like them, with busy schedules, can achieve... let alone someone like me. I can do it. Yes, carmen. Go for it. and if you've read till here, thank you. I just read through this blog post, and it was kinda crap... hahax. whatever=)

Straight A inspiration:: Emma... EMMA watson. I LOVE her outfit!

My Straight A inspirations: Daniel Radcliffe. He looks better in this photo than many others...

Alan Rickman, a.k.a Severus Snape. He looks so friendly in real life!thought Su Xue would be interested in this =)

don't stop

It was raining at the Harry Potter Premiere... Apparently, Emma Watson looks the only dry one... Rupert Grint looks drenched!


Don't stop... That's the title of the newest song i've written...=) It's about picking yourself up and to keep on moving, even if you fall. And that's exactly what i must do now.

This weekend's going to be like a resting period for me, to catch up on all the missed out sleep, and get some shopping therapy, spent more time with music, and clear my incredulously messy table. Seriously, my table looks like debris from a battle ground of books.

Monday onwards, start working. Not mugging like mad, but take it a step at a time, make sure that I don't stress out, if not everything would only be counter productive. I've completely relinquished all hope on my Physics, which means that I should start focusing on all my other subjects. L1R5. you don't have to ace everything. Work hard, get a good O levels grade, go through JC, get a nice A level grade, go to University somewhere, study Business Marketing and Advertising, and then either straight away try to find such a position in a fashion firm, or maybe go study fashion marketing. build your way up. Don't stop. They're so many things I want to achieve, but lets just start with working hard for O levels first. They might be irrelevant to what you wanna do in the future, but this experience, preparing for it, helps you become stronger, so you CAN achieve your dreams.

I'm still listening to Jonas. Like once I get a new CD, I end up listening to it non-stop for like 2 weeks. That's me=) I slept for like 12 hours, 10 pm to 10 am, but i'm still feeling damn tired. 2 weeks of sleep is really hard to pay off. I haven't told my dad about my Amaths grades yet. I so hope that he won't be disappointed with me. I don't really care about disappointing myself, cause it's something I can get over quickly. I hate to disappoint others who hold high hopes on me. Like Mr Goh... If I don't get an A1 for A maths in Prelim 2, I'll definitely be too ashamed to face him ever again. My friends too, who really believe in me... I love you all, and I don't wanna let any of you down. Prelim2, i'll give it my best shot. i swear.

I won't let you down. ever again. i promise.