Lines Vines and Trying times.

Hope ya like my new header... My limp attempt at artistic photography.... Below is another one, i took that in Changi Airport at the travellator. All are taken with my handphone camera, which resolution isn't superb...

I'm addicted to Nick Jonas's new voice. It sounds so so much better than before, and it sounds even more fantastic on the CD itself. One reason to buy the CD. Perfect Quality sound. I'm listening to Fly With Me now... and not regretting buying this CD over Ashley Tisdale's. The songs sound so great, heaps and bounds better than the sandy, cranky versions they have on Youtube.

I think Lines, Vines and Trying times is a good header for what's going on in my life now. Though the Jonas are referring more to like romantic relationships, for me, its more like what's going on with my studies. weird hey... but yeah. I don't have any relationship problems, nor do I have any friendship problems, just a few grudges with that couple of subjects which never ever fail to disappoint me.

Today was hell of a crap. Had a super spicy bowl of Tom Yam Vermicelli (sp?) and now my speakers are blasting music from the Jonas, so I can stop feeling so wilted. It's working, like it always does. Tonight I'll be cooking dinner, and that helps too.

When I saw my Amaths paper one, I felt like as if someone plunged a knife with serrated edges right into my gut and twisted the blade 360 degrees. I could have gotten like 70 or 73 marks outta 80, but due to carelessness, I barely passed. 44 over 80 doesn't sound that great, does it. It sucked, it really sucked damn hell. E.maths and Bio wasn't so bad. But I heard that our class didn't do Chem well, and I doubt i'm one of the double handfuls of As. It would be a miracle to even pass Physics. I totally crapped my Socials paper the other day, so Humanities wouldn't save me this time. I can't do anything but pray now, and work harder next time... right?

Argh... pull yourself together. You can do this. One fall doesn't mean you fall forever. Get up and keep walking. Don't stop. Don't speak.

FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM

after the Biology paper today... i felt like screaming like a mad Jonas fan and running about the classroom in joy... (ok, sorry, just lame sarcasm... I couldn't resist). IT'S FINALLY OVER. Prelim ONE. Today is one of the happiest days of my life. Like for real, its wonderful =)

[warning... this is quite a long post. filled with interesting things, i think =X]

Happy HAPPY birthday to Cheng Hui. You're one of my most trusted friends of all. Been through lots of thick and thin with ya, may have thrown a lot of tantrums in front of you, even gotten mad with you lots of times, but in the end, I still love as the wonderful friend you are=) So honey, shine your 1000 megawatt smile =D

Su Xue, Calista, Cheng Hui and I went to watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince today at causeway point. With Amos, Sam C, Zhi Xun and Zaki. WOW. This is actually the first time i've watched a movie with so many people. But the movie was superb, like really good. It was 2.5 hours, but it didn't feel like 2.5 hours. It ended with a "to be continued" kinda feeling. But i'm definitely going to watch the next sequel. I trust that they are going to do a next one. Su xue has a thing for Prof Snape, as mentioned before. Yeah, he's quite "suai" (cool) in the movie. It's sad, though, to see him misunderstood by everyone as the bad guy. But as for me, I still like Harry Potter the most=) hahax.

Bought the Jonas Brother's CD, Lines, Vines and Trying times today. Listening to it right now, in fact. Ah, I just can't stand the fact that I'm missing one Jonas CD. Like a missing piece right in the middle of a puzzle. Now i've finally got it, ain't feelin so fidgety. And this time I agree with Suxue, Nick Jonas does look a little little little little bit like Duncan. But only for the front cover picture. a tiny tiny little bit. hahax. but not like glenn. at all. period. not even the "aura"... lols =)

Bought the Essential Michael Jackson CD also!! Yeah, thank God I got it. I thought it was all gonna be sold out or something... But I still got my hands on one! My dad got his concert CD in Budapest like a week or two before he died for like $8. and now the price shot up. My mom says my dad had sixth sense. hahax. It still doesn't feel like MJ died. Like he's still here. Perhaps that's what it's like when you leave a legacy. Like Elvis, like MJ. Who's next?

I was watching a tv programme on Channel U at 8pm. I can't remember its name, but its about like celebrities going to rural places to do charity. It was really touching. Like those kids, they live in places so far out from society, have difficulties even making ends meet. But they get happy so easily. They want an education. They see school as something really like a gift that they must treasure. But why do we, the city teenagers, blessed with all things material, blessed with advanced education, resent what we've been given? Others don't even have a chance to study, but we are given this opportunity. Yet, we feel like its making us miserable. I don't know if we should be thankful or not, but sometimes I really wish for the simple life, where the pace of everything is just slower, where you can take your time, and really appreciate everything around you. I want to appreciate my education, what i've been blessed with, but I just can't bring myself to. Maybe its the pressure to excel. Maybe we should just study, with not the aim of results in mind, but the aim of gaining more knowledge about understanding everything around us, and to open up possibilities. Maybe we would be much happier like that. But its sad that society forces us not to view things this way.

I completely flunked Physics. Like I practically guessed my way throught the whole paper. I swear to God I'll never ever ever touch Physics ever again after O levels. I studied really hard for that subject, but I still can't get it.

Don't wanna go to school tmr. Don't wanna get blasted back to reality. Cross our fingers -- please no shellings tmr. Please no.

Finally, something I feel that my friends should hear... No matter what the results achieved for your Prelim one, DON'T feel discouraged, or feel like YOU are not good enough. Everyone has his or her strengths in different areas, and though results are important, those A's or C's don't determine who you are. For that, you'll have to show people that you can do your thing. Besides, Prelims are just stepping stones. Cambridge people aren't that heartless to set crazy, over the top papers. Kids in Britain don't see their ten-year series or their prelims as their "bible" like we do. You might have lost a couple of marks here and there, but don't you ever lose yourself. All of you shine in different ways. Never undermine yourself. Your greater than that. Most importantly, don't lose hope. Have faith =)

xoxo.

"cause the black keys, never looked so beautiful, and a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull... and the lights out never had this bright a glow... and the black keys, showing me a whole I'd never know"... NICK JONAS, song: BLACK KEYS, album: LINES, VINES, AND TRYING TIMES.

almost over. almost.

finally its about to come to the end of the Prelims. Tomorrow is the last day! yippee...no more late nights and whole days spent mugging like mad.

Going to watch Harry Potter tomorrow, with some friends, kinda like an after exam celebration. I'm not a Potter fan, really, I stopped reading Potter at the Order of Phoenix book, which i found was an absolute drag and bore. It is said that the quality of the Harry Potter series was revived the the following two books, but I really didn't bother to read them.

Su Xue is hyped about seeing Prof Snape. as for me, i'm most probably going there to see Emma Watson's last appearance on the big screen. She told seventeen magazine she's going to quit acting after Harry Potter, and lead a normal life. It's a pity, because she's a great actress. But then again, the burden of fame is not something everyone can carry.

I hope to go shopping on at the new Orchard Central on Saturday. I've been there once during the June holidays (what was left of it, rather) and wow, the place was cool. It has like escalators going up 3 storeys and nice coffee houses and a rock climbing wall. I need to get some retail therapy... When was it the last time I went on a shopping spree? I can't remember. It seems like months ago or last year or something.

now planning my ingredients for friday's dinner, which i'm going to cook for my family. sorta like a repayment for all the crankiness they had to take in during the exam period. (I'm really really really cranky and easily irritated when I'm stressed) It's sorta like a thank you for my dad too. He stayed up with me till 2 a.m until i finished studying my biology. like i could tell he was really really tired, but he still stayed up. And he does all these things that make everything, no matter how bad it is, better. =) I should cook for others more often, its fun, and I get to try out recipes I picked up from the Rachael Ray show. Trying to cook fusion food on Friday. Hopefully, it'll work out great.

carmen

Flunked.

Flunked a maths paper 2, as expected. My dad gave me the license to fail that paper, so its ok. Thank God I have understanding parents. I don't know how I'd live without them.

I'm so so tired now, I don't even feel like studying for Physics. I can't help thinking about what i'm gonna do after Prelim 1. Like my whole head is flooded with thoughts of that. I don't know, but i feel like i'm getting more and more sick and tired of all these continuous studying. I need a break from all these, before i can get my momentum back.

I was supposed to finish a lot more of Physics on Saturday, but I was listening to Taylor Swift's Fearless CD and I kinda got drowned in thoughts, all thanks to the song "love story". Didn't know what went wrong with me, but suddenly i was just imagining how Juliet would look like and was sketching like how many different versions of her. I must have listening to that song more than a thousand times since I bought that CD, but this is the first time I starting drawing it.

It doesn't really matter how many times you fall, or how badly you've hurt yourself. It matters whether you are able to stand up and move on. Obstacles are all there for a reason, not to bring you down, but to differentiate you from the others. They are there to help you find yourself and your will. Don't care about how many times you fail, or even how many times you've succeeded. Count the times you've picked yourself up and started all over again, even when you're at the starting line, and others are at the finish. It's the climb that matters, that makes you who you are.

all her hopes and dreams pinned on that little bit of faith and belief. will she make it?

lovex3.

here we go again

Demi Lovato's newest Music Video... "here we go again". The song is rockin, but the guy in the video looks kinda weird... Like sloppish somehow. Ahhh... Demi is going on tour with David Archuleta! OMG. I wanna see! but I can't =(

I fell in love with this old song by Michael Jackson. He sang it when he was a kid. It's called "Ben". Its the new song on my blog, so I hope you enjoy =)

I had these awful gastric pains that just aroused from nowhere while I was doing my E.maths paper. It felt horrid. Could my body just listen and stop betraying me during these crucial moments? Had to go to the toilet to take some pills (lucky i had some in my pocket) and kind of calm my nerves before I went back to finsh my paper. I still don't know what happened. I mean, I did eat breakfast and took all the necessary precautions and all. Sometimes I'd just wish I was a healthy person. I try my best to be, but all these stuff and stress just gets to me.

Glad to say that Half the Prelims is over. I really do hope we all fare within our expectations of ourselves, regardless of whether you've studies or not. To think that us and exams, have like this on-off relationship. Like once the exam period is over, we take a breather, break up... but sooner or later you find yourself mugging for exams all over again. I can't wait till the day we break up permanantly with school exams, and start living our lives the way we want to. But for now, seems like exam takes priority, ya?

Haven't been writing songs lately. Stopped myself because I found that I was writing around the same subject, the same thing. Probably my brain is just to drained to think of anything else.

Now i'm just praying hard that my Prelim One results won't turn out that bad, like L1R5 around 13-14 and i'll be contented. I really don't want to let down everyone who has pinned their hopes, their faith, their prayers and their love on me. I'm trying really hard not to disappoint them.

ok... time to go mug and mug somemore... I haven't even started on Physics and Geography revision yet.

and "hoorah" to Kristen who got the job. finally, after so many tries. you're such a go-getter aren't you? hahax. tell them i miss them all XD. tell you-know-who thank you from the bottom of my heart. We all can't live without that superhero can't we... lols. lovelove.

mugging, here we go again...

oh dear.

Okay... I have been making progress for my studies, but not good progress. I'm lowering my expectations for Prelim 1. Prelim 2 shall be it. I'm just too tired to think so much.

I keep listening to Kris Allen's "No Boundaries" to find some motivation. It does help, to a small extent. Few days ago, I was so cranky, I took out my Hannah Montana 2 CD. Strangely, that was the CD that gave me the most inspiration. Have been listening to it ever since. Talk about the kid in me...


I'm really afraid for my E.maths and my Bio. Like, I just can't do E.maths under exam conditions, no matter how I psycho myself that I can. the Problem for Biology is different. I can't finish memorising everything!! so far I've only completed 7 chapters, out of 22. and I'm panicking. NOT GOOD.

Keeping my fingers crossed for A maths, and Chem. I haven't even started revising my geog or physics yet. I'm so dead.

Now my goal is just to get everything over and done with.

But to all my friends, the best of the best of luck. just do your best. and if you're feeling down, remember that your final goal is not the prelims, its the O levels. The prelims don't determine what you get in the end. you still have time to work ahead, so don't let your prelim marks get you down... okay?

that goes the same for me. ahh... back to my a maths revision.

everyone keeps telling me that your results do not determine your success in life. But what determines whether my life is successful or not? There are so many things that I want to do, and have not gone about doing them, but somehow I feel that these exams and studying are hindering my dreams. But I do want to get good results, because people do weigh you according to your results in the future. I don't know. It's just a complicated mess. No wonder people like counter-urbanisation. Life's so much simpler that way.

break a leg.

dun think I will be updating my blog really often... i think y'all can tell... I haven't updated for quite long... almost a week I guess.

I'm just so tired from all this revision. Makes me wonder what's the plus side to life. Everything is just soo draining. Sometimes I wish I wasn't born in this freaking result orientated country.

i miss being overseas, standing near the beaches and just standing there, with your eyes closed, feeling the breeze blowing at your face. There's a sense of freedom in that. I think that's what I need. Freedom, to breakaway from this mundane routine that has consumed my life. Argh. I know complaining doesn't change anything... But sometimes, I just can't help but feel so in despair.

I envy my friends in other countries so much. So much. They complain that 8 a.m. is too early to wake up for school. they complain they have one worksheet to do for the weekend. They complain that their one hour lunch break isn't enough. They complain that they should be learning less than 4 subjects a semester (they only have 4 subjects each semester). They complain that they aren't given enough freedom on what they wear to school. They don't know that I would give just about anything to have the kind of life that they do.

I still have my Biology MCQ left... to do, but I'm feeling giddy again, and I don't think I can take much longer of tiny words. My computer screen is zoomed in to 200% right now. Small words make the space around me spin.

haix. Think on the bright side: I am luckier than a lot of other people in this world, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining. I have a home, an education, great parents, chances to travel overseas every year, and food to keep me going. I should be contented with what I have, and not keep moaning about how lousy life is right?

Thanks to all my friends who have sent me little notes of motivation. I love you all, you know I do. =)

Break a leg, carmen, break a leg.