crossroads

oh God. I really should be studying now, but i just have too much admin work to do. argh. i guess i'll wake up earlier tomorrow to mug. For the first time in my life, i actually think that i'm going to flunk my mid-year exams.

Today was great though. It was today where I threw all my troubles and fustrations out of the window, and just enjoyed myself. It's the first time throughout the holidays that i've actually had a holiday. My life sounds pathetic, but today was great. We met in the morning, I was like 15 minutes late =X coz the bus was late. Had breakfast at Toast Box, where i embarrassed myself for making a mess out of cracking the egg. Haha, i know how to crack an egg ok, i'm not that dumb, but i dropped the egg in the plate when the spoon hit the shell, coz i wasn't holding it tight enough. so instead of breaking into two halves, i got an egg that spilt into 3. Haha... After that we walked to Cathay Orchard (yes, we went to orchard) and we got like movie tickets for the Prince of Persia morning show, and another afternoon show for The Killers. Haha, we couldn't decide which one to watch so we ended up buying tickets for both. =P

All in all, i had fun today, a lot of it. But it was kinda hard. Haha. Throughout the day I was just resisting the temptation to just confess. Yes, that's so unlike me. But yeah, it's that bad. Or good. I wonder if we're better off just best friends or something more. But i'll only get an answer to that if I take the chance to jump. and fall. And yet, there's a part of me that's paranoid that i'll end up crashing in the end. But if i don't take the risk, i'll never know. i may end up regretting, after A levels, after he ends up in national service and I go off to Canada. Regretting that I've never said anything. regretting about what could have been. what if. what if. what if. Maybe i shouldn't think so much. Maybe i should just be happy and blessed with the fact that he walked into my life and turned it around.

I'm itching to ask my aunt or my mom about some relationship advice. But i think it'd be wiser to just keep this to myself for the moment. I think.

Chenghui called me today, told me something really shocking. I don't think she wants me to tell you, but yeah. My dear, i'll be there for you. Whenever, wherever, whatever you need me for. I know you'll make the right choice. Do what's best for you. Whatever you do, just know that the people around you will stand by you, support you and be there for you. Because we love you.

I'd better go finish up my admin work now. I've a meeting tmr, so I need to sleep early, though it's like 11.10pm, and it's way past early.