confessions.

woah, okay, it's been AGES since i've last blogged. It should be ages since you've last seen my blog too, since i changed the URL. Like, twice. Haha. Now my blog should be only available to a handful of people, whom I consider to be in my "inner circle" of friends. This gives like 90% transparency into my life. haha... Warning, F-rated. Fearless.

Okay, let's skip the cheesy opening lines, and go on to the juicy details of my not so interesting life.

First up? The boring part. Haha, studies of course. My GOD. JC workload is actually quite fine, but it's the pace at which the tutors go that can drive you crazy. Even with tutorials, I constantly find myself running to catch up. I'm currently FAR behind where i'm supposed to be. This is... very bad. haha... to quote Ivan, from my class. Yeap. So, June holidays will be devoted to: studies! and of course a few occasional day outs here and there, and SHANGHAI. Yeah, for those of you who don't yet know, I'll be away in Shanghai for the World Scholar's Cup Competition during the 3rd week of June. =) and he's going too, so, it'll be fun. even without him. haha.

I'm getting a new phone soon. My baby dear Nokia 6288 has served me very very much well, and I think it's time for it to sit back and enjoy life at home as my back-up phone. Lols. I'll still love it as much though, since it stuck me through many of the highests and lowests points of my short 16 years of existance so far. I'll most probably be getting the Nokia 5800 (I can't give up nokia, it's so durable), though I really prefer the N97 (with the cute qwerty board!). But i'll burn a hole in my bank if I get the latter, so Nokia 5800 it is. haha... a little excited to getting my hands on a touch phone, though i currently suck at handling anything with a touch screen. lols.

Now, the juicy details. Let's talk about my diet. HAHA. I've been guzzling ice-cream like mad, and chocolate, and cake, and bread, and choco cookies (thanks to that guy). Shit, i'm NOT getting fat... LOL. Basically I don't have the gaining weight problem (if you hadn't already noticed) but, it's unhealthy to be ingesting so much sugar. My complexion is already starting to feel the brunt of the sugar effects. The good side is that I don't get the hypoglycemic giddy spells. Haha. ANYWAY. it's unhealthy. for the sake of the skin on my face, thou shalt start eating healthy. But it's hard to do so, without harming the wallet. The first healthy food I thought of was sushi. then i went, oh no. $u$hi. There goes my allowance. =X

Ok, sorry about er, delaying this part to the last. Haha. I was actually deliberately doing so, er... coz it's sensitive. Riiight. Love life. hehs. Well things are going well between me and him. Ichijou is SO last year. Haha, ok, that sounded evil. Anyways, i think we're both addicted to each other! haha. I don't know how to put it, but yeah. No, we're not in a relationship. I'm not dating anyone, I'm doing everything I can to control my feelings here. But, it's pretty clear about how we feel about each other. So... i'm just gonna let things figure itself out. I know he's holding back for somewhat the same reason as I am. That makes things easier to keep under control. I wonder if I can hold this up till after A Levels. But then again, I wouldn't be seeing him after that. He's got NS, I'm leaving for Uni in Canada. It'd be 2 years at least before we can meet again. Well, 3, if he's staying in Singapore to study. Sometimes life is unfair, huh. Argh, why am I getting so sentimental over a guy. Okay, not any guy, but... still. I wish life were more straightforward. You meet, you fall in love, you date, get hitched, aha, and live happily ever after. Riiight.... I sound totally cliche. But, if life were that straightforward, I'd probably wouldn't have gain such great friends. I probably wouldn't have met Su Xue and Calista, and probably wouldn't have gone into debate, I probably wouldn't have went to NYJC, and I probably wouldn't have met him. It's quite crazy when I think about that fact that we used to patronize the same macdonalds on the same day of every week for the past 2 years (cause of tuition). I could have saw him many times, but never really realised, and we could've just walked past as strangers. It's pretty funny how the world works, if you think of it in that sense.

AH. WTH... it's 5.45pm. Okay, to keep up with my schedule, i'll have to scram back to studying, like, NOW. Feeling overwhelmed. with work.

I'll try to blog more. It feels nice to be able to let my thoughts run as I type (that's classified as having my fingers run).

Ciáo =)
xoxo.
carmen, the self-professed good girl. HAHA.