Nostalgia

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT IS THE OFFICIAL LAST DAY OF SCHOOL FOR SEC 4s.
The Chung Cheng Bear is sitting beside me right now. Just filled with myriad of emotions, bittersweet, sad, just can't bear to confront the fact that today is the first step in the separation of 4H. During the mini Graduation session today, Amos burst into tears. Anna couldn't bear to look at him, afraid that she would cry as well. Not long after, Cheng Hui cried. Aww, I really felt like crying too, but I held the tears back in my eyes. 4H'09 is the best class that I've ever been in. Even the sometimes annoying people in class will be worth missing. I wrote a song about it, not exactly, but more about like how you realise just how much something means to you when you notice that it's slowly slipping away from you. How you learn to cherish something with all your heart when you find that you're losing it. Ironically, I named the song "This Is It". Sounds familiar? I betcha it does. My eyes were tearing as I wrote it.

Btw, I saw someone imitating Michael Jackson's dance moves in Starbucks today. It was a young Malay guy. But he didn't do a good job, he looked as if he was having muscle spasms. I guess Michael Jackson really can't be easily imitated. The original is the best.

I named my Chung Cheng Bear "You Ji Tang" or "Oily Chicken Soup", after the pots of stuff that Mrs Choo always cooks for us. haha... Calista laughed hard at that one. Well, I find that's it quite a cute name. Anyway, I can change it anytime I want in the future. Haha... I feel really motivated to study hard now, to make the school proud. Something like that. haha...

Oh, I finally figured out what Ms Kaur wrote on her note to me. She wrote "Bon Chance ma Chérie"... I know Bon means Good, I know Ma means My, and I kinda guessed Chance meant Luck, which is correct. She was saying "Good Luck my darling". Ms Kaur is one of the sweetest teachers ever. Come to think of it, all our teachers are wonderful.

Lastly, thank you so much, Emily (3H). I'm really grateful to know that you have not forgotten our debating days, and that it still means so much to you, fighting as a team. You thanked us for the times where we guided you along, but I just want to say that I have learnt a lot from you as well. I could have never asked for a better teammate, or a better team combination. Thanks for being there as well. Most of all, Thank you for being who you are, for being our teammate, our friend, someone we know we always can depend on. I will never forget everything you have given us. Forever friends =)

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It seems like all that I know are so far away right now. I'm starting to feel a little bit lost, confused, like a child lost in the crowd. The footprints on the sand washed away by the waves, no marked path, no guiding hand. Can I ever find or fight for the life I want to lead? What lies for me after this? Will I be able to breathe without you around me? I don't know. But I promise you I'm going to try my very best to find who I am supposed to be. May my dreams lead me to where I wanna go, without losing the people that mean so dear, that mean the world, everything to me. Don't wanna be torn.( hahs, i should very well make this into another song.)