i feel like i'm standing on ground zero right now. Like it's the beginning of a 3 week journey for something better. Haha... I sound like Lord of the Rings.
I'm going to make this real quick... as y'all should know, O levels is TODAY. I'm feeling awkwardly calm and composed, quite a contrast to that panic strickened and paranoid person I saw in the mirror just a few days ago. I renamed the O level journey as the Operation Freedom Redemption. Lols, i know, it absolutely sounds dramatic, but I can't wait till the last day of the Os, where I would shop, watch movies, play music, dance around wildly or whatever. I can't wait till the day I get my life back.
There's gonna be the English Paper 1 and 2 today. This morning I was having a flashback, about the day of my PSLE English paper, where everyone was busy studying before the PSLE, but I was busy bragging that I didn't need to study for English. Yeah right, I aced that paper, but this one's different. It's like the O levels. I can't do comprehension, at all. So, I'll be happy enough to get a B3 for English. Hopefully this thing called moderation comes around the corner, and I'll think I'll be able to get an A2 then.
I'm absolutely terrified for the 2nd week of Operation Freedom Redemption. It's like all the you-know-what subjects clumped together. Not good. Trying hard not to think about that part right now.
Good luck, and do well everyone. We'll get there...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I don't know if y'all feel the same, but my brain is like running out of memory space really really fast. I feel like I can't cram all the stuff in anymore, so I'm just taking it easy right now. Don't wanna fall sick either.Thanks to the drip the other day, my hypoglycemia hasn't been acting up recently. Thank God.
Okays, it's like 12 a.m. and i'm studying Biology, just taking a break by blogging. I can't wait till O levels are over, and I can like taste freedom once more. This sorta life with books all day is suffocating. I don't even care much about what grades I get anymore... just want it to be over. My mind is already flirting with the thoughts of shopping (till i drop), drawing, painting, buying a guitar, holidaying. Like, i can't even concentrate well enough on the O levels, like I don't feel the urgency or importance of the thing itself. that's what I feared the Mocks would do to me, and wahlah... forecast correct. I don't know whether to say Dang, or Good. Like it's bad, coz i can't really concentrate 100%, and it's good, coz my exam jitters are holidaying in La-la Land. But either ways, my brain is exhausted. I need my break.
Hopefully tomorrow and Sunday would be more productive.
I have the sudden urge to cut my hair short. Like short bob, and then curl it. Haha, like okays, maybe I will after Os, but i'm really getting sick and tired of my hairstyle. There was this amazing looking D&G pumps i saw in a catalogue sent to me via email, but the price is shocking. US$400. Madness. I love branded shoes, but I don't love them to the extent that i'm going to give up my savings for them. My next quest is to find a similar pair for less... hahax. Talking about shoes, i've decided not to wear that 5.5 inch stilettoes to prom. LOLs. My feet are going to hurt Damn Bad in that one. The last time I wore it, I got leg pains for like the entire next day. So, I'm going for my 3 inch pair instead. Man, I really can't wait till after O levels!!!!!!!!
Oh... and you guys should check out the Nominations for American Music Awards 2009. Taylor Swift got SO many nominations! Like she was even nominated for Artist of the Year award! Another shocker, is that Michael Jackson got many nominations too, including Artist of the Year award. I'm stumped at who to vote for, like I love them both so much. Maybe i'll go alternate, like Taylor Swift for one day, and MJ for the next. lols.
thy shalt now taste the breath of freedom, that beholds and ravels the very gusto of Mankind.
Anonymous.
Okays, it's like 12 a.m. and i'm studying Biology, just taking a break by blogging. I can't wait till O levels are over, and I can like taste freedom once more. This sorta life with books all day is suffocating. I don't even care much about what grades I get anymore... just want it to be over. My mind is already flirting with the thoughts of shopping (till i drop), drawing, painting, buying a guitar, holidaying. Like, i can't even concentrate well enough on the O levels, like I don't feel the urgency or importance of the thing itself. that's what I feared the Mocks would do to me, and wahlah... forecast correct. I don't know whether to say Dang, or Good. Like it's bad, coz i can't really concentrate 100%, and it's good, coz my exam jitters are holidaying in La-la Land. But either ways, my brain is exhausted. I need my break.
Hopefully tomorrow and Sunday would be more productive.
I have the sudden urge to cut my hair short. Like short bob, and then curl it. Haha, like okays, maybe I will after Os, but i'm really getting sick and tired of my hairstyle. There was this amazing looking D&G pumps i saw in a catalogue sent to me via email, but the price is shocking. US$400. Madness. I love branded shoes, but I don't love them to the extent that i'm going to give up my savings for them. My next quest is to find a similar pair for less... hahax. Talking about shoes, i've decided not to wear that 5.5 inch stilettoes to prom. LOLs. My feet are going to hurt Damn Bad in that one. The last time I wore it, I got leg pains for like the entire next day. So, I'm going for my 3 inch pair instead. Man, I really can't wait till after O levels!!!!!!!!
Oh... and you guys should check out the Nominations for American Music Awards 2009. Taylor Swift got SO many nominations! Like she was even nominated for Artist of the Year award! Another shocker, is that Michael Jackson got many nominations too, including Artist of the Year award. I'm stumped at who to vote for, like I love them both so much. Maybe i'll go alternate, like Taylor Swift for one day, and MJ for the next. lols.
thy shalt now taste the breath of freedom, that beholds and ravels the very gusto of Mankind.
Anonymous.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
dead TIRED.
Okay... this is just wonderful... 2 days of intense revision actually drained out everything in me. I was dozing off while doing a A math paper 1, and I almost failed that paper because i was so tired, which led to tonnes of careless mistakes. My eyes can barely open right now, so I hope like blogging will wake me a little.
Today was at Mr Goh's session in the morning, but didn't manage to do much, because mostly i was just clarifying doubts and answering questions. By afternoon, after finishing the integration section of the Amaths TYS, I felt so exhausted already.
argh. i still need to go to school tmr to see Mr Yong. The damned person-in-charge didn't even key in a single thing into my CCA record, not even one of the two pages of changes I submitted in to them the previous time. Dang. So now Mr Yong is going to key in everything himself... I'm going down tmr to check it, make sure everything's in. Aw man.
I'm getting really really paranoid of the O levels. My mom is now insisting that I complete my A levels in Singapore. Eeeww. I'm going to strike a pact with my parents soon. If I don't get into my desired first choice JC, I will leave this country for overseas education no matter what.
Today was at Mr Goh's session in the morning, but didn't manage to do much, because mostly i was just clarifying doubts and answering questions. By afternoon, after finishing the integration section of the Amaths TYS, I felt so exhausted already.
argh. i still need to go to school tmr to see Mr Yong. The damned person-in-charge didn't even key in a single thing into my CCA record, not even one of the two pages of changes I submitted in to them the previous time. Dang. So now Mr Yong is going to key in everything himself... I'm going down tmr to check it, make sure everything's in. Aw man.
I'm getting really really paranoid of the O levels. My mom is now insisting that I complete my A levels in Singapore. Eeeww. I'm going to strike a pact with my parents soon. If I don't get into my desired first choice JC, I will leave this country for overseas education no matter what.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Nostalgia
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT IS THE OFFICIAL LAST DAY OF SCHOOL FOR SEC 4s.
The Chung Cheng Bear is sitting beside me right now. Just filled with myriad of emotions, bittersweet, sad, just can't bear to confront the fact that today is the first step in the separation of 4H. During the mini Graduation session today, Amos burst into tears. Anna couldn't bear to look at him, afraid that she would cry as well. Not long after, Cheng Hui cried. Aww, I really felt like crying too, but I held the tears back in my eyes. 4H'09 is the best class that I've ever been in. Even the sometimes annoying people in class will be worth missing. I wrote a song about it, not exactly, but more about like how you realise just how much something means to you when you notice that it's slowly slipping away from you. How you learn to cherish something with all your heart when you find that you're losing it. Ironically, I named the song "This Is It". Sounds familiar? I betcha it does. My eyes were tearing as I wrote it.
Btw, I saw someone imitating Michael Jackson's dance moves in Starbucks today. It was a young Malay guy. But he didn't do a good job, he looked as if he was having muscle spasms. I guess Michael Jackson really can't be easily imitated. The original is the best.
I named my Chung Cheng Bear "You Ji Tang" or "Oily Chicken Soup", after the pots of stuff that Mrs Choo always cooks for us. haha... Calista laughed hard at that one. Well, I find that's it quite a cute name. Anyway, I can change it anytime I want in the future. Haha... I feel really motivated to study hard now, to make the school proud. Something like that. haha...
Oh, I finally figured out what Ms Kaur wrote on her note to me. She wrote "Bon Chance ma Chérie"... I know Bon means Good, I know Ma means My, and I kinda guessed Chance meant Luck, which is correct. She was saying "Good Luck my darling". Ms Kaur is one of the sweetest teachers ever. Come to think of it, all our teachers are wonderful.
Lastly, thank you so much, Emily (3H). I'm really grateful to know that you have not forgotten our debating days, and that it still means so much to you, fighting as a team. You thanked us for the times where we guided you along, but I just want to say that I have learnt a lot from you as well. I could have never asked for a better teammate, or a better team combination. Thanks for being there as well. Most of all, Thank you for being who you are, for being our teammate, our friend, someone we know we always can depend on. I will never forget everything you have given us. Forever friends =)
~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******************~~~~
It seems like all that I know are so far away right now. I'm starting to feel a little bit lost, confused, like a child lost in the crowd. The footprints on the sand washed away by the waves, no marked path, no guiding hand. Can I ever find or fight for the life I want to lead? What lies for me after this? Will I be able to breathe without you around me? I don't know. But I promise you I'm going to try my very best to find who I am supposed to be. May my dreams lead me to where I wanna go, without losing the people that mean so dear, that mean the world, everything to me. Don't wanna be torn.( hahs, i should very well make this into another song.)
The Chung Cheng Bear is sitting beside me right now. Just filled with myriad of emotions, bittersweet, sad, just can't bear to confront the fact that today is the first step in the separation of 4H. During the mini Graduation session today, Amos burst into tears. Anna couldn't bear to look at him, afraid that she would cry as well. Not long after, Cheng Hui cried. Aww, I really felt like crying too, but I held the tears back in my eyes. 4H'09 is the best class that I've ever been in. Even the sometimes annoying people in class will be worth missing. I wrote a song about it, not exactly, but more about like how you realise just how much something means to you when you notice that it's slowly slipping away from you. How you learn to cherish something with all your heart when you find that you're losing it. Ironically, I named the song "This Is It". Sounds familiar? I betcha it does. My eyes were tearing as I wrote it.
Btw, I saw someone imitating Michael Jackson's dance moves in Starbucks today. It was a young Malay guy. But he didn't do a good job, he looked as if he was having muscle spasms. I guess Michael Jackson really can't be easily imitated. The original is the best.
I named my Chung Cheng Bear "You Ji Tang" or "Oily Chicken Soup", after the pots of stuff that Mrs Choo always cooks for us. haha... Calista laughed hard at that one. Well, I find that's it quite a cute name. Anyway, I can change it anytime I want in the future. Haha... I feel really motivated to study hard now, to make the school proud. Something like that. haha...
Oh, I finally figured out what Ms Kaur wrote on her note to me. She wrote "Bon Chance ma Chérie"... I know Bon means Good, I know Ma means My, and I kinda guessed Chance meant Luck, which is correct. She was saying "Good Luck my darling". Ms Kaur is one of the sweetest teachers ever. Come to think of it, all our teachers are wonderful.
Lastly, thank you so much, Emily (3H). I'm really grateful to know that you have not forgotten our debating days, and that it still means so much to you, fighting as a team. You thanked us for the times where we guided you along, but I just want to say that I have learnt a lot from you as well. I could have never asked for a better teammate, or a better team combination. Thanks for being there as well. Most of all, Thank you for being who you are, for being our teammate, our friend, someone we know we always can depend on. I will never forget everything you have given us. Forever friends =)
~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******************~~~~
It seems like all that I know are so far away right now. I'm starting to feel a little bit lost, confused, like a child lost in the crowd. The footprints on the sand washed away by the waves, no marked path, no guiding hand. Can I ever find or fight for the life I want to lead? What lies for me after this? Will I be able to breathe without you around me? I don't know. But I promise you I'm going to try my very best to find who I am supposed to be. May my dreams lead me to where I wanna go, without losing the people that mean so dear, that mean the world, everything to me. Don't wanna be torn.( hahs, i should very well make this into another song.)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I can't believe that tomorrow is going to be the last day of school. It's like, suddenly, this wave of nostalgia just sweeps over... and you start thinking about the little times that made this year and last year comparatively good. I'm not sure what my life would become without my BFFs with me everyday. Haha. Rumours are going around that the school is going to give us the CCHY bear as a momento. I hope they do! But whatever the school gives, i'm fine with it.
My Aunt's husband, Mark, just sent like a huge parcel full of T-shirts that said 'Idaho' (that's where he lives) and a really thick... I mean really thick... photo album filled with pictures of my aunt and him during her trip to Idaho in summer.I thought that was really sweet of him to compile that for her, even including little decorated notes about the places they visited. It must have took him long, since he's always so busy at work. It came as a surprise, and I got 3 t-shirts... yay =)
Trish rang up yesterday. She told me that they are going to light up the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center on my birthday!! OMG. that's really cool, it's so sad i'm not there to see it, i'll be in Korea before heading to New York. FYI, Rockefeller Center is a place in New York City, where they have this giant Christmas tree. They light it up every year, and it's a staple in New York's Christmas celebrations. There's also this ice-skating arena there, but seriously, i can't ice-skate. I can barely roller blade, so ya, make the link. I miss New York. From fashion street, to even wall street. Central Park, and the huge cheap yummy big burgers they sell at this place called The Eatery, a restaurant right beside the Museum of Modern Art. Oh, and you can't miss out shopping at American Girl Place. Haha, i know, what a name. It's actually a shopping store at Fifth Ave. If you go to New York, shop there. It's where fashion is most concentrated in NYC, other than fashion street, that is. Okay, i'd better shut up before I start sounding like some kinda tourist guide book.
Anyway, i got a picture of Rockefeller Center off Google. I'd better whip up some lunch, before mugging...
Monday, October 5, 2009
when I look at you
I really like this song by Miley Cyrus. Somehow it makes me feel like part of it. Maybe I am. The songs i'm producing have been really really emotional lately. Much alike this song. Probably its the stress, but it did make me realise something. Now I have a task to complete after the O levels. It may not be the right choice, or the wisest one, but life's too short to take any more chances. I'll keep it to myself for now. I want to a little bit more certain about what i'm doing before confiding into anyone.
Sigh... my aunt is flying off to Idaho to see her husband again. Uncle Mark's dog Snowshoe will definitely be overjoyed. I wish I could go to USA with her. Then I wouldn't have to take the freaking O levels.
i spent the day studying at the yishun library after school. I managed to finish the whole chapter of Development on Geog. I'm dead beat. My health's not holding up too well, so i'm going to the hospital on Wednesday to get a few hours of drip. Ya'noe, that packet thing where they poke a tube and needle into you and let it "drip". Because of that i'm gonna have to miss Physics review on Wednesday. Can't help it. Gotta think of the bigger picture. Today Mr Lee told me specifically not to give up hope on Physics. I don't want to, but I have to, in order to protect my L1R5. Of course, I don't feel good letting him down like that, but if given more time, I would put effort in Physics. Sad, I don't have that liberty right now.
I don't know why, it always feels better when you're here.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
okay, this was on Cal's blog, and i'm really bored out from studying...
What are you doing now?
~Searching for geography examples to use in essays, and listening to Keith Urban's CD Defying Gravity =)
What do you want to do next?
-Complete revision for human geog.
Are you attached? To whom?
-Yupps, to my revision notes, and my pillow (which is on my lap right now) and to Nick Jonas. HAHA. Okay, that was a lame joke. Forgive me, my brain is dying.
What is the most awkward moment or event that happened in your life?
-When I was at a place where everyone knew everyone, but i ain't know anyone but my parents. i was so lost then.
Who is the person that you hate most?
-A certain someone(s) who betrayed my trust and faith in them and turned their backs on me 2 years ago.
What is your interest currently?
-Listening to music and more music, writing music, studying at starbucks and SHOPPING. Ok, i think I exceeded the quota.
Do you want to persue in this area of interest as a career?
-Yup, all of them, except for the studying at starbucks part. I would rather like to be paid to do nothing in Starbucks, and drink coffee...!!
Assuming that today is your birthday, what birthday wish would you like to come true?
-I want to land my dream job and live my dream life.
And do you think that your wish will come true?
- Maybe, I really hope so!
Any job of interest for the future?
~Fashion Marketing and Designing, and/or song-writing, to be in a band if possible =) Or acting. haha, drama is FUN.
Do you love your current life/lifestyle?
-Not exactly, maybe I will, after the O levels. Then I have all the time to rock out and party all I want.
Who do you want to pass this quiz to?
-Anyone who wants to do it. (esp my friends =D)
I shouldn't have eaten fried rice for dinner last night. Darnit, I regret that. Now my sore throat has gotten worse. I feel like I have sandpaper for a pharynx.
Calvin kept telling me today that I could be the black horse, and my Physics could improve to an A. He even explained to me alot of the stuff from the mock paper, which i initially didn't understand. But I seriously don't have that much faith in my Physics. Still, i'm gonna try. Mr Lee's "hopeless, shake head and sigh" expression isn't helping. At all. Prayin hard.
Mr Goh's at BK tomorrow. Seems like the BK sessions have been changed to Sundays. But he was there today too. Hardworking teachers. Sometime it absolutely bugs you when you disappoint them and their efforts.
Selena Gomez's CD is good! =)
What are you doing now?
~Searching for geography examples to use in essays, and listening to Keith Urban's CD Defying Gravity =)
What do you want to do next?
-Complete revision for human geog.
Are you attached? To whom?
-Yupps, to my revision notes, and my pillow (which is on my lap right now) and to Nick Jonas. HAHA. Okay, that was a lame joke. Forgive me, my brain is dying.
What is the most awkward moment or event that happened in your life?
-When I was at a place where everyone knew everyone, but i ain't know anyone but my parents. i was so lost then.
Who is the person that you hate most?
-A certain someone(s) who betrayed my trust and faith in them and turned their backs on me 2 years ago.
What is your interest currently?
-Listening to music and more music, writing music, studying at starbucks and SHOPPING. Ok, i think I exceeded the quota.
Do you want to persue in this area of interest as a career?
-Yup, all of them, except for the studying at starbucks part. I would rather like to be paid to do nothing in Starbucks, and drink coffee...!!
Assuming that today is your birthday, what birthday wish would you like to come true?
-I want to land my dream job and live my dream life.
And do you think that your wish will come true?
- Maybe, I really hope so!
Any job of interest for the future?
~Fashion Marketing and Designing, and/or song-writing, to be in a band if possible =) Or acting. haha, drama is FUN.
Do you love your current life/lifestyle?
-Not exactly, maybe I will, after the O levels. Then I have all the time to rock out and party all I want.
Who do you want to pass this quiz to?
-Anyone who wants to do it. (esp my friends =D)
I shouldn't have eaten fried rice for dinner last night. Darnit, I regret that. Now my sore throat has gotten worse. I feel like I have sandpaper for a pharynx.
Calvin kept telling me today that I could be the black horse, and my Physics could improve to an A. He even explained to me alot of the stuff from the mock paper, which i initially didn't understand. But I seriously don't have that much faith in my Physics. Still, i'm gonna try. Mr Lee's "hopeless, shake head and sigh" expression isn't helping. At all. Prayin hard.
Mr Goh's at BK tomorrow. Seems like the BK sessions have been changed to Sundays. But he was there today too. Hardworking teachers. Sometime it absolutely bugs you when you disappoint them and their efforts.
Selena Gomez's CD is good! =)
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