simplicity.me

there are really many things going through my mind right now, and somehow i can't help but feel so insecure. things have happened to my cca, but nobody bothers or gives a damn about our side of the story, and some people have been coming up with an awful lot of darn right lame excuses just to keep us down. I can't believe this. The very reason why i used to love my school so much: because every students voice can be allowed to be heard, this very reason is slowly being eroded away to a mere memory. I don't feel like i can trust some of the teachers in the higher authority posts anymore. they scare me. Not in the sense that i'm afraid of them, but rather, their attitude towards students are far vast from what is right of a teacher, it scares me to think that such characters are prevalent in our education system, and so-called nuturing the generation of tomorrow.

It has been a long wait. From the mid of march till now, the tail end of April, we've been waiting and searching for answers. We've been rejected, had doors slammed in our faces, and on hopes that we will be given our rights as students, as people. We never had that. Again and again, i felt trampled on, insulted, in one way or another. Not only taking up responsibilities that didn't belong on our shoulders, but also facing criticisms, on our character and way of work; some comments i feel are anything but not even close to a fair judgement. our cca was closed with no proper reason, and so far nobody has bothered to ask of our opinion. i feel ridiculed, toyed and humiliated. I don't believe that any teacher has the right to make his students feel this way.

Right now, i'm just angry, exhausted, fustrated and disappointed. We tried to speak out, but no one listened. We tried to question, but no one answered. We tried to be reasonable, but were treated without reason. We stuck to our values, but are accused for lacking them. I mean like I really feel like going up to the principal and tell him "it's not right. something's not right with your teachers. this is what they have told us. this is what they have done to us. this is what they have done to our juniors. this is how badly we're affected that we can't trust the very people who are supposed to teach us. aren't you going to do something about that?"

I can sense my defenses coming up again. I've never been this wary of my surroundings and people since the episode in sec 2. Now, i'm at it again. It's the game of survival. Be alert, watch out for ambushes, be wary, and don't trust anybody who you don't know well enough to know he/she is safe. Because anybody, anyone, can turn their backs against you in cold-blooded murder. I'm not letting myself get hurt this time. I'm not letting my friends get hurt too. I doubt myself, if i have enough strength to last this game. but i'm not letting my guard down. and i will do anything in my power to safeguard my own interests and that of my team. As I said, it's the game of survival. It didn't have to be this way, but you made it as such. It's either you or me, and someone's gotta go down.