so many things, too little time. sometimes i wish time would stop. I always wish this, but i'm not doing anything much more.
I wish i could learn Korean faster. Really. lols. i wish i was some language genius, learn a language in 3 months. haix. then i can express myself in a language that others wouldn't understand. Maybe i should learn icelandic.
i'm just feeling really fustrated right now. about everything. lessons, tests, it's eating into my life again. i just want to go out with my family once a week. is that too much to ask?
bah, i wish my leg would heal faster.
another wasted darn post.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
you, me, and guilty.
haix... i don't know how long ago was the time since i've last blogged, but yea, i'm back. Wonder if it's a good thing that i'm starting to pour out my feelings into the internet again, or if it's a bad thing, spelling that i'm becoming more emo. i don't know!!
okay. i'm not all that good recently. Sprained my ankle for starters. what a joke. i fell while trying to get out of lecture. and usually it's the lecture that kills people. not the rush out for break. anyways, i did fall, pulled 2 ligaments and tadah. Now i'm practically dependent on alot of people for a lot of things. and i'm feeling downright a burden.
There're a few things that i hate to be in life. Hate to be ostracized, hate to be called names, ESPECIALLY hate to be accused, hate to be a burden to people, etc etc. I'm already a really dependent freak, and this spoilt ankle of mine just made me more so. Orson, Mom, dad, grandma, spending so much time and money on me. Ugh. I don't like it... I don't like that they have to go through extra trouble coz of me, and i don't like that i have not much of a choice but to have them go through that trouble. It bugs and tugs and tears my insides out just to think of it.
I feel guilty. Like a criminal, like a spoilt old brat with a sense of conscience. I'm trying to make it up to people, but somehow i don't know how. Like i'm someone born to accept, not born to give. and it is in this extra guilt that will bear down on every limp of my foot, that i will walk with for these few more days.
Sentence? Guilty or not guilty, it's up to the Jury to decide. Whoever they are.
okay. i'm not all that good recently. Sprained my ankle for starters. what a joke. i fell while trying to get out of lecture. and usually it's the lecture that kills people. not the rush out for break. anyways, i did fall, pulled 2 ligaments and tadah. Now i'm practically dependent on alot of people for a lot of things. and i'm feeling downright a burden.
There're a few things that i hate to be in life. Hate to be ostracized, hate to be called names, ESPECIALLY hate to be accused, hate to be a burden to people, etc etc. I'm already a really dependent freak, and this spoilt ankle of mine just made me more so. Orson, Mom, dad, grandma, spending so much time and money on me. Ugh. I don't like it... I don't like that they have to go through extra trouble coz of me, and i don't like that i have not much of a choice but to have them go through that trouble. It bugs and tugs and tears my insides out just to think of it.
I feel guilty. Like a criminal, like a spoilt old brat with a sense of conscience. I'm trying to make it up to people, but somehow i don't know how. Like i'm someone born to accept, not born to give. and it is in this extra guilt that will bear down on every limp of my foot, that i will walk with for these few more days.
Sentence? Guilty or not guilty, it's up to the Jury to decide. Whoever they are.
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